Thread: Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

I was at crystal recently coming out of the summit house to find a family of Japanese tourists who had ridden the gondola up for lunch taking turns fondling my wrenegades while posing for photos. They didn't speak any English so I curiously watched as they each took their turn with some burly ON3Ps in hand for their photo op.

Originally Posted by Stringbender

I was at crystal recently coming out of the summit house to find a family of Japanese tourists who had ridden the gondola up for lunch taking turns fondling my wrenegades while posing for photos. They didn't speak any English so I curiously watched as they each took their turn with some burly ON3Ps in hand for their photo op.

That's funny, they do that here in JP too.

"What are those skis used for?"
"They're not skis, they're wings. And they're used for flying."
... /crickets.

Works every time.

small contingent of that same nippon tour group rented gear and boarded the gondy in full on alpine attire.
crystal has been getting a bunch of wide eyed tourons the last few weekends and a few gapers from alpental clogging the
parking lot.

Originally Posted by auvgeek

Nah, dude just started skiing a few years ago. (He's probably 60s, not 70s.) Guess you'd have to meet him. I won't go into details, but he is a gaper through and through. I'm not one to make fun of the old guard - I'd love to make some turns with him if he started skiing before my dad. Anyway, sorry for the thread derail. Probably wasn't worth posting originally, but it was funny as shit to me at the time.

Scott~, thanks for posting those. That day was epic in so many ways. The snowblades quote was just icing on the cake at that point.

Guy started skiing in his 60's--even better.

A couple of months ago--top of Whistler, very cold, very windy. I'm skiing with my son--last day of the trip, and he wants a picture of us in front of the stone thingy that was obviously built there by ancient Native Americans. A few other groups in front of us snap their pics while we wait our turn.. Then some Aussie starts doing a portfolio--he must of had 20 pictures of himself, various poses, some with various other people-all why us and a bunch of other people wiat.. I was about to tell my son forget it when the Aussie finally left. (And that one reminds me of when I was a surgery resident, guy comes into the ER brought from Vacaville Prison with a bunch of stab wounds, one of which severed an artery in his chest and nearly killed him. Months later I'm called to testify at the trial of the guy who stabbed him. The DA shows me a bunch of photos--20 or 30--showing every stab wound from every conceivable vantage point. In none of the photos is there an IV, oxygen, a chest tube, or any other evidence of medical care in the prison infirmary, although that stuff was all there when he got to us. The guards had taken all those photos while the guy is trying to bleed to death before he got any medical treatment. I don't know what the guy did. Maybe he deserved it, maybe not.)

Driving back from Whistler w/ a ski bud from Cali. and were around Squamish and he says"What lake is that?" Umm that's a Sound Matt, you know like we are at Sea Level. No Friggn way were in the mountains. Well were still at Sea level bud so when you get home check it out on your computer.

The rental manager at attitash tells people that "ski poles are obsolete" and tells full grown people to ski on 120s who aren't even beginners

Dude with a "Locals on Volkls" sticker and Texas plates was giving me grief about my tgr sticker at the gas station the other day. I pointed out the irony and he shut up.

Originally Posted by jonesy

Driving back from Whistler w/ a ski bud from Cali. and were around Squamish and he says"What lake is that?" Umm that's a Sound Matt, you know like we are at Sea Level. No Friggn way were in the mountains. Well were still at Sea level bud so when you get home check it out on your computer.

Should've said, "Pacific", and left it at that

Originally Posted by pisteoff

Should've said, "Pacific", and left it at that

Lake Pacific.........I know your right.

Heard two Long Island girls today up at Royal Arch say it was the hardest hike they've ever done....oh, and both were fugly and had horrific accents

"A basin doesnt open for like another month atleast dude"

And this was from 2 colorado born people today...i was like "are you joking i just moved here and know about it"

Thought this was the best GAPER quote thread. Instead I got lost in stupid fucking arguments of why should I buy what I only use a few times a year and your not as rad as me posts in what started as a pretty entertaining thread.

But alas the degradation of such brilliance is that of the maker and of those he employs to further his vision, and erosion is time not wasted but not nurtured.

Meanwhile I set out to summit the entire 151 page thread without oxygen or Sherpas nor the assistance of ropes and radio, only to find myself wishing for the rope and radio to hang myself with and say my goodbyes to those I love. Instead I must descend into failure as there is no mountain in the clouds of this thread only rolling hills of magoty minions stuck with the addiction of "I" and "me" to prove to ones self that they are worthy of a keyboard and a thought.

So what do you say let's turn this thread back the direction it was intended and succeed?.................

Ahhhhh fuckit my ambition has just fizzled out as well.

But hey I had a good time with me also!

Oh yeah and the best GAPER quote I ever heard was;

On a six foot powder day while working the Baileys Beach Chair in the late 80's. (surely a punishment from Mr. Lowder, for being late almost every day for a week and smoking pot in my lift shack getting caught by the patrol) but that's a story for another day.

A Texas couple says "We paid good money to ski here can you please get the groomers to flatten the runs on this chair out so we can enjoy ourselves?" 1 hour later they wanted to know what was taking so damn long it was getting dangerous up here while it snowed like 3" an hour. So I went into my shak sparked a bowl when they came back down I told them that the groomer was stuck in the snow and they are trying to dig it out now. They tipped me ten bucks for trying so hard to get them the services they thought they deserved.

Just say'n!

Just started posting at Newschoolers (I like park, sue me) and every thread there is funnier than this one.

EDIT: I just noticed this thread title is misspelled. Has it always been like that!? Mind = blown.

less smug?

Originally Posted by The SnowShow

Heard two Long Island girls today up at Royal Arch say it was the hardest hike they've ever done....oh, and both were fugly and had horrific accents

not a ski area quote...but relevant I'd say.... A few years ago while hiking down the backside (steep forest) of some cliffs that overlook the Hudson river after smoking a few hibbas with my cousins...probably a 15 minute hike up from a parking lot and a 10 minute walk down... a group of three people including a big ol fat girl is hiking up to the cliffs through the woods. The fat girl says "I would rather be in jail than walk up this hill."

Struck me as profound in regards to how content she must be to be so fat.

File under: gapers are everywhere.

Originally Posted by TheOriginalGraniteChief

On a six foot powder day while working the Baileys Beach Chair in the late 80's. (surely a punishment from Mr. Lowder, for being late almost every day for a week and smoking pot in my lift shack getting caught by the patrol) but that's a story for another day.



Just say'n!

I sit here riveted, hoping; no, praying that you will post the full details of that wonderful story

Originally Posted by TheOriginalGraniteChief

A Texas couple says "We paid good money to ski here can you please get the groomers to flatten the runs on this chair out so we can enjoy ourselves?" 1 hour later they wanted to know what was taking so damn long it was getting dangerous up here while it snowed like 3" an hour. So I went into my shak sparked a bowl when they came back down I told them that the groomer was stuck in the snow and they are trying to dig it out now. They tipped me ten bucks for trying so hard to get them the services they thought they deserved.

Just say'n!

A lot to wade through, but this is solid gold!

Originally Posted by daviski

I sit here riveted, hoping; no, praying that you will post the full details of that wonderful story

I hear they have a tool for that! Try a drill and a metal drill bit that usually gets the rivets out. And try not to be the tool ...... For that. And make sure you sweep up the metal shavings those metal slivers in your toes are such a bummer especially on a powder day.

Originally Posted by Xocomil

Just started posting at Newschoolers (I like park, sue me) and every thread there is funnier than this one.

EDIT: I just noticed this thread title is misspelled. Has it always been like that!? Mind = blown.

No the misspelling is just a recent change we thought we would try and get more new schoolers in here by fucking up a bit.

"Are you looking forward to the snow?"

Originally Posted by AK47bp

After smoking 3 joints of AK's finest with only 3 people I turn to a local and ask "what elevation is Juneau?".

I've had fishing clients on the boat, ON THE OCEAN, ask how far below sea level we get at low tide.

Originally Posted by Chugachjed

I've had fishing clients on the boat, ON THE OCEAN, ask how far below sea level we get at low tide.

"Sea Level" is usually defined as Mean Lower Low Tide, hence the negative numbers in the tide books. Although I usually just go with the level the ocean is right now when I'm on it.

my mother-in-law was complaining about the altitude in Juneau - you could see tidewater from our house

Originally Posted by grrrr

"Sea Level" is usually defined as Mean Lower Low Tide, hence the negative numbers in the tide books. Although I usually just go with the level the ocean is right now when I'm on it.

I'm aware of MLLT but "sea level" seems too easy to calculate when it's 3 feet under the deck you're standing on.

Originally Posted by telemike

my mother-in-law was complaining about the altitude in Juneau - you could see tidewater from our house

By altitude she meant no nordstroms.