Thread: Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

Lunchtime at the Roundhouse on Whistler last Sunday. A guy sat at the table across from us is wearing a nice new Arcteryx shell jacket...with one of those disposable plastic ponchos over the top.

Originally Posted by dos bolsas

I heard a gaper in a lift line at Alta say "are you really going to that agro on me?!"

Nice....

Riding up the Summit 6 at Alpine Meadows guy on the chair with us talking to his buddies about getting first tracks on Kangaroo. Last snow was 2 days ago, a few inches that all blew away and Kangaroo is a little lift off to the side used for racing and park sometimes. I couldn't figure out where he was talking about until it became clear that he was talking about getting first tracks ON THE CORDUROY. (The guys spent the entire rest of the interminable lift ride complaining about how bad things were at Squaw and Alpine last Thursday, Friday, and Saturday and how they bailed early because of the crowds, couldn't find anything worth skiing because of the wind, and didn't even bother one day because of the traffic. The three best days of skiing I've had all season--I did quit early on Saturday, because my old legs were gone from skiing pow. Even passholders can be gapers. Keep your whining to yourself.)

Originally Posted by nateski

" twelve months out of the year, you can ski right to lake tahoe's shores, where you will always find women cavorting in halter tops."

What's gaper about that? That's rock fucking solid truth right there.

Originally Posted by nateski

may need some fact checking here....
"big sky is tiny"
"squaw has 110 lifts"
this is a paraphrase: " twelve months out of the year, you can ski right to lake tahoe's shores, where you will always find women cavorting in halter tops."

Not to mention the mythical beach where the showgirls from the casinos sun bathe nude.

Riding up a lift yesterday and here comes a Snowboarder w/ bicycle handle bars and a go pro mounted on it. That was a first.

^^^ That must have been some collision.

Guy walked up to me in a ski area and asked if I could tell him a place where he could go to teach himself to do ski cuts. Said he skis alone a lot and thought that would be a good thing to learn.

"Yeah...no."

This morning at Skibowl, "I hate this kind of snow". My first reaction was to blurt out, do you mean the white kind? I just shook my head and skated off to the lift.

Originally Posted by Meadow Skipper

Guy walked up to me in a ski area and asked if I could tell him a place where he could go to teach himself to do ski cuts. Said he skis alone a lot and thought that would be a good thing to learn.

"Yeah...no."

East Vail I believe

Originally Posted by flowing alpy

do they sell pizza and french fries at the lodge

And?
Anyone besides me fail to laugh or see why this is a gaper quote?

Originally Posted by skibiker

And?
Anyone besides me fail to laugh or see why this is a gaper quote?

No you are not. I don't get the "punch line," either.

^Have you ever seen a ski lodge that doesn't sell pizza and fries? It's like asking if there will be popcorn available at a movie theater. Not hilarious, but that's how I took it.

Not a quote, but me and my buddy ended up looking like gapers yesterday;

Forecast was for snow, and ullr delivered. We get up to Hemlock and it was dumping. >1ft of fresh, heavy, wet coast cement.

Anyways, one of the chairs is closed for avy control. That's fine, we all head over to the other lift and wait for it to open. Everythings looking good, the lift starts turning, ski patrol gets on, start heading up, and then the lift stops. About 15-20 min later they tell us that a part on the lift broke and needs to be replaced, but the chair that was closed for avy control is going to open in a few min, so we might as well all go over there.

Everyone proceeds to hike to the other chair, and wait, and wait, and wait, for about another half hour before the guy who seems to be in charge of the lifts comes over and rips the liftie a new asshole for not having the chair open. Finally they open the chair up.

Buddy and I get one ~the 10th chair, maybe a bit sooner, and less than a second after sitting down the bar slams down, the foot rest hits our skis, sending them tip first into the snow and before we figure out what the fuck just happened, we both lose a ski. Lift has to stop, heckling ensues from the entire line. Fortunately ski patrol was on the chair behind us, so the liftie hands our skis to them and we just retrieve them at the top, at which point ski patrol tells us that the bars on those chairs are pieces of shit, and that happens about 100 times a day.

Much ado about nothing I suppose, but I will keep it going. I remember specifically that at least half of the lodges I have been in did not sell pizza, some I know did, and others might have but I don't remember seeing any.

I saw a guy "telemarking" on an old pair of silvrettas in walk mode the other day. It was actually kind of entertaining watching him pick his way down a steep bump line.

A retread on the 1,500 "fat skis" comments, but I still think its worth sharing.

Conditions yesterday- 55*-60* temps, anything in sun had thawed and slushed to 2-3" deep, and stuff not regularly groomed had some beautiful mashed potatoes to about 6". Lots of beginners on the mountain (heard a rumor about it being spring break in Texas), and most are having a pretty difficult time.

I'm skiing 1st gen Obsetheds.

I caught a lift with a guy around 40 years old.

Guy looks at my skis and says "Man, I can't believe you are skiing on skis like that. I can't think of a worse ski for the conditions."

Guy was on snowblades with the non-releaseable bindings.

a month or so ago....

me-someone got caught in an inbounds avalanche in utah yesterday..
person-did the avalanche dogs find him and save his life?

Originally Posted by skiATL

a month or so ago....

me-someone got caught in an inbounds avalanche in utah yesterday..
person-did the avalanche dogs find him and save his life?

How is this a gaper quote?

Originally Posted by skiATL

a month or so ago....

me-someone got caught in an inbounds avalanche in utah yesterday..
person-did the avalanche dogs find him and save his life?

Yes because the buried individual had the good sense to take out his avalanche bacon.

6 inches fresh and riding the first chair of the day:

"Man, I hope it doesn't snow too much more so I don't have to put on my goggles.

Why don't you want to put on your goggles?

So I can see all the powder I possibly can!"

On the other hand, gotta give him props for getting up there early on a powder day!

My GF at a tune-up shop: "I am very new, I don't want to go too fast, please put only a thin strip of wax in the middle of my skis"

LOL she kept bugging me of she should wax her skis or not. I convinced her she could get a thin strip if she's that scared of full wax. Had a good laugh with the tech

I guess a five year old can't really be a gaper but still--the little kid comes down through the park on his snowboard , puts on the brakes when he gets to a long box, crawls up on to the box on his belly, and then slides down the box on his knees, with his board still on. He received much cheerful encouragement from the lift. Little kids are great (most of the time)

Originally Posted by old goat

I guess a five year old can't really be a gaper but still--the little kid comes down through the park on his snowboard , puts on the brakes when he gets to a long box, crawls up on to the box on his belly, and then slides down the box on his knees, with his board still on. He received much cheerful encouragement from the lift. Little kids are great (most of the time)

Kid must have been training for Alaska...

Originally Posted by Bobcat

Yes because the buried individual had the good sense to take out his avalanche bacon.

Bwaaahahaa!!! I think I got suckered into paying like $300 too much for my bacon...