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Thread: Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?
01-16-2012, 09:35 AM #3401
Storming hard at Snoqualmie, I'm with my novice girlfriend, on tele skis. I barely tele, nobody cares that I barely tele.
Guy skis up to me.
Guy: You're telemarking! This is my first day, it's horrible!
Me: Yeah, tele is hard.
Guy: Well yeah! And I bet it's a lot harder for you on those, than for me on these!
I looked down and saw he was skiing fixed-heel randonnee gear.that's all i can think of, but i'm sure there's something else...
01-16-2012, 09:45 AM #3402
Older Aussie guy with his wife and kid in the gondi: "So you guys are on those LONG skis, huh?"
Me: "They're not that long... only 186."
Aussie: "Yeah... I've been there done that." (he's a full-grown man and he's got some 160's in the gondi rack)
Aussie: "Skiing these days is about SLIDING, not actually SKIING anymore."
Me: "Is that what I've been doing wrong all this time?"
... later still...
Aussie: "We're going heli skiing with CMH next week."
Me: "You're might want something longer than those 160's for all that powder."
01-16-2012, 10:30 AM #3403
01-16-2012, 04:11 PM #3404
01-16-2012, 05:42 PM #3405
01-16-2012, 06:33 PM #3406Registered User
- Join Date
- Feb 2008
"Hey baby, are you here...alone?"
Said in my best, most suave, deepest and most suggestive, Barry White voice, as I came up behind my wife outside the lodge.
"No! I'm here with my husband!" She spins around totally pissed off and I see that she's a 50-something lady in the same jacket and helmet, and with the same general build as my wife...but definitely not my wife.
My hysterical laughter and subsequent abject apology of "I'm sorry, I thought you were my wife" was extremely poorly received.
01-16-2012, 07:02 PM #3407
So my buddy and I were in the woods at Alta yesterday. We heard some people skiing by, so my buddy growled. The lady stopped, screamed, and asked her son if it was a bear.
"was that a bear?!"
"Yeah mom, it was. Wait, yeah, I heard it too."
and then they left.
Good laughs for the rest of the day.
01-16-2012, 07:24 PM #3408
Guy instructing his kids at the top of a fairly steep bump run: "Point them downhill, lean back, and TURN!"
Guess what kind of accent he had.
01-16-2012, 08:05 PM #3409rm -r *
- Join Date
- Jun 2006
01-16-2012, 08:46 PM #3410
01-16-2012, 10:22 PM #3411
Too many to list from American weekend here in Whistler. The best is seeing all the interesting ways people mess up putting on ski boots.
01-17-2012, 01:13 AM #3412
Approaching the station at the top of a lift the guy next to me asked me if I was planning on getting off
01-17-2012, 08:51 AM #3413Registered User
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
- 30mins from the bush
walking by the Gondola at keystone base while some guy struggles to hold his skis and poles i hear a girl go "I don't know why i date you...look at the way you hold your sh*t you're such a Gaper"
01-17-2012, 11:23 AM #3414
So, I fart on the gondola @ Mammoth this week, claim it of course, then reference something about GNAR. The woman in the matching Spider outfit says “oh, that’s that snowboarder movie” HA-ha"Listen boy,
We all take turns being assholes in this life and it was your turn today, so smarten the fuck up dildo."
01-17-2012, 11:40 AM #3415
Riding a chair at Snowbird a couple weeks ago I sat with an older fella and commented on how much it sucked that it was raining on us.
Old Guy: Yep not much snow. I patrol up at the Canyons and we ran out of O2 yesterday because so many people were crashing into eachother.
Me: You gave them all oxygen huh?
Old Guy: Yep, in case of head and neck injury. But at least it's raining now. That's what we need. A good rain puts some texture in the snow. Now if it freezes, the snowpack will be much safer when we start getting big storms because the powder will be anchored.
Me: Did you say you're a patroller?
Old Guy: Yep, up at Canyons.
Me: <headphones in, mental note to call Jake at Canyons and question his hiring procedures>
01-17-2012, 12:08 PM #3416
WTF? Even I know rain crust is dangerous.
(For the locals)
Was talking about snow conditions on a good day with a guy. I said there was lots of good snow, but yeah, look out for rocks.
He asked if I was talking about Paradise and Spartan.
Me: Uh, East Bowl?
I shared some base welding tips with him too. Nice guy, but jesus...No longer stuck.
01-17-2012, 12:20 PM #3417
^^^^^^ Rain and the associated thaw/freeze can increase stability if it permeates through the snow pack and wipes out old weak layers.
01-17-2012, 12:31 PM #3418
01-17-2012, 02:09 PM #3419No longer stuck.
01-17-2012, 03:04 PM #3420
01-17-2012, 03:28 PM #3421
All of you quit cunting up this thread! Back to the business:
Took my sister's boyfriend skiing this weekend. First time we had ever hung out. He said he was a good skier so I figured we'd go to Alta for the day. First thing I saw when I walked over to the lift line was a frustrated guy who couldn't figure out why his boots wouldn't click in (both skis were backwards). Got pretty nervous about the rest of the day but he kept up pretty valiantly for being such a gaper.
01-17-2012, 03:38 PM #3422
01-17-2012, 03:38 PM #3423
there's this guy getting on the gondy at Mammoth the other day with his kid - he's got the kid's skis strapped to his pack and his own skis and poles in his hands - the kid working the gondy tries to help him with his boards and he says "I got it." and tries to enter the gondy after the kid carrying all that shit - kid's skis catch on the door and the idiot almost falls on his ass and lets out a little girl scream - the kid working the gondy politely asks "You sure you've got it?" and the idiot mumbles and stumbles his way into the gondy avoiding eye contact as the doors shut behind him
yep - that was mesorry
I'm blind in my right ear, I can't smell a thing you're doing.
01-17-2012, 04:47 PM #3424Registered User
- Join Date
- Nov 2010
50 yards on a slight incline, that's how far away we are from the lift.
"I hate walking in my boots ... why does it have to be so far ...
they should have one of those things that takes you to the lift."
OK, not a quote but is it just me or have people gotten dumber? Riding the quad at Ski Santa Fe, the thing stops about 3-4 times. Now generally I ride it only once a day, but even that is annoying. WTF, why can't people load lifts anymore?
Too many video games? I've seen people just stand there looking, not realize that there is some minimal amount of timing to sit down at the sweet spot.
01-17-2012, 04:51 PM #3425Terje was right.
"We're all kooks to somebody else." -Shelby Menzel
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