Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

**mnflyfish** · 01-27-2011, 10:17 AM

Originally Posted by dumpy

Has anyone Googled function4sports?

The reviews of the place are classic- I think Fatty, Dopey and Tattooey are gonna be looking for new jobs soon.

http://maps.google.com/maps/place?um...ed=0CCgQqgUwAQ

Shop keepers- this is why you never treat any customer like shit- you never know who they might be or what they are capable of.

This is awesome! Makes me want to stop in just to fuck with them. Too bad it's the other side of the country for me. I'm seeing a EC TR from some smartass Maggot...

**yahs** · 01-27-2011, 10:23 AM

Stay on target....... stay on target

**Feldybikes** · 01-27-2011, 11:41 AM

"Are those telemarketing skis"

Yes, these are the skis I use to cold call people about new long distance plans.

**TacocaT** · 01-27-2011, 08:17 PM

I didn't know if i should post this here or the snowboard problems thread

**Shadam** · 01-27-2011, 08:40 PM

I was really hopeing the spelling was incorrect !!!

**Jag** · 01-27-2011, 09:11 PM

Originally Posted by dumpy

Has anyone Googled function4sports?

The reviews of the place are classic- I think Fatty, Dopey and Tattooey are gonna be looking for new jobs soon.

http://maps.google.com/maps/place?um...ed=0CCgQqgUwAQ

Shop keepers- this is why you never treat any customer like shit- you never know who they might be or what they are capable of.

Best laugh I've had in a long time!

**skibum_jr** · 01-27-2011, 10:28 PM

My skis have a right and a left. If i put them on the wrong feet, the exploding head will not line up

**dropkneesteeze** · 01-27-2011, 10:44 PM

Originally Posted by bendtheski

I can see it now; best gaper quote of the weekend: "Mmmf, mmmf, ommmf, slurp, mmmf"...

baaaahahahahahahaa

**johngenx** · 01-27-2011, 11:42 PM

Originally Posted by LeeC

I meant to put this one up..
Not sure if it sfw. No nudies, just wicked funny
http://27bslash6.com/foggot.html

We've had a few threads around here that weren't far off that...!

**S4Shredr** · 01-28-2011, 07:56 AM

Originally Posted by dumpy

Has anyone Googled function4sports?

The reviews of the place are classic- I think Fatty, Dopey and Tattooey are gonna be looking for new jobs soon.

http://maps.google.com/maps/place?um...ed=0CCgQqgUwAQ

Shop keepers- this is why you never treat any customer like shit- you never know who they might be or what they are capable of.

More on this here Dear customer, I hope you fall and break your neck.

**dumpy** · 01-28-2011, 08:20 AM

Originally Posted by S4Shredr

More on this here Dear customer, I hope you fall and break your neck.

This may qualify as the best gaper quote of this thread.

Why do you think I posted that? JONG! Try reading more of the thread next time.

**S4Shredr** · 01-28-2011, 08:29 AM

Originally Posted by dumpy

This may qualify as the best gaper quote of this thread.

Why do you think I posted that? JONG! Try reading more of the thread next time.

Credit taken... by bad

Retail Retribution With David Thorne

**mrburns** · 01-28-2011, 11:13 AM

JONG here...been lurking long enough.

Not exactly a quote, but a serious gaper move.

I work at at a rental/ valet shop so you can imagine I see my share of yahoos. One common problem we deal with is the "ski swap" Gaper comes out of the shop or restaurant, etc, and just picks up the first set of skis they see. Not the ones with their names on them, just any old set of skis. They're all the same right? Anyway, this usually works itself out when the gaper's boot doesn't fit in the binding, they realize something is wrong, and come back to the shop and accuse me of not setting their binding correctly. Usually it involves rental skis and is not that big of a deal.
Now to the story, we had a guest staying at the Hotel last week, who we refer to as a "Silver Fox" this means a 60ish man with grey/silver hair who skis only in no hat and sunglasses. If they wore a helmet or hat you would not be able to enjoy viewing their perfectly gelled hair. This guy is a former instuctor who thinks he is the greatest skier of all time, etc. basically a pain in my ass the whole time he is here. So we are valeting this guys new Dynastar's and they get "swapped' by one of our rental customers, they silver fox loses it and starts yelling "this is bullshit, this is bullshit" in front of families, kids, etc. I try to diffuse the situation by explaining the "ski swap" scenario, and that the gaper who picked up his skis will probably be right back. After a couple of minutes I set up the silver fox with some demo skis so he can get out on the hill, and everything seems to be working out. Two minutes later the fox and the gaper walk back into the shop together. Sweet, all is fixed, situation resolved, no, not so lucky. Gaper has broken the toepiece COMPLETELY OFF of the ski, he has it in his pocket. He says "I barely touched it" I BARELY TOUCHED IT?!? Are you fucking kidding me?!? This is a pretty new Dynastar PX12 binding. It takes a shitload of force to break the toepiece off of a binding. So by "barely touched it" you mean that you were kicking the shit out of the binding trying to cram a 28.5 boot into a binding set for a 26.5.
So, here we are in the shop and these two idiots are looking at me like "what are you going to do about this?" Fuck me. It was a powder day, the fox is pissed, so I get them both to just go skiing, calm down, and we will deal with this in the afternoon. Fast forward to the afternoon, since the Silver Fox's skis are destroyed, he wants to file a police report, get the gaper's info, etc. I agree to talk to the gaper about paying for the bindings that he destroyed. Gaper comes in later and I let him know that his options are to buy the fox a new pair of bindings, which I offered to mount for free, or deal with the cops because the Fox is going to press charges. Now for the gaper quote! When I said you can deal with the cops, the gaper said " I don't care, I don't live here" WTF? "I don't live here?" Is he going to skip town? I was pretty dumbfounded by that and just said, "Well, the ball's in your court buddy" He thought about it for a second and handed me his credit card for some new bindings. I don't get paid enough for this shit.

**Skirotica** · 01-28-2011, 11:40 AM

Originally Posted by mrburns

" I don't care, I don't live here" WTF? "I don't live here?"

This is awesome. Reminds me of the time my brother was visiting and walked out of my local college nightclub with a beer and was confronted by an officer who accused him of "stealing" the glass the beer was poured in. So he writes my brother up for drinking in public and says "your court date is [two weeks from now]. My brother says "that's gonna be a problem as I'll be home in Phoenix by then."

Officer says: "turn around"

Next morning (11ish) my brother walks up to the house after having walked home from the jail. Still not sure how he was able to bail himself out. Must've used his phone call for a bondsman.

**dumpy** · 01-28-2011, 12:37 PM

Me (total deadpan): Hi, is Fatty there please?
Her: No, but thanks for calling, click

**Skirotica** · 01-28-2011, 12:52 PM

Originally Posted by Smoova

Best part of the video is the last 20 seconds when he is skiing in the parking lot...

So the locking biner is fine. Maybe he uses it to hold the camera mount while he's buckling his boots...

And the spot is just good responsibility for when he falls down underneath a truck tire in the parking lot.

But is that a BCA airbag? It was a "pow pow day" afterall...

**shafty85** · 01-28-2011, 02:28 PM

[QUOTE=mrburns;3160368]He says "I barely touched it" I BARELY TOUCHED IT?!?QUOTE]
Classic. When my brother and I would fight, I would tell me parents "I barely touched him!" after punching him - of course I was 14ish then.

**Huckin eh?** · 01-28-2011, 09:17 PM

So we are sitting eating dinner at the Mad Trapper in Golden tonight and Sentinel says:
"Is this the only Bar in Golden???"

Even Mags can be Gapers too!

**Tendofreak** · 01-28-2011, 10:19 PM

Gaping it up in Florida:
I'm pumping gas in St. Petersburg, Fl and a car pulls up with Colorado tags on.
Gapper: How far to the ocean?
Me: Point east and say " head that-a-way for 175 miles and ya can't miss it. It's called the Atlantic.
Gapper: Looks all confused, pulls out map and mutters "Thought I was right by it"
Me: "Oh, you mean the Gulf!!" I point west "That way to the end of the block. Cant miss it"

Fuckin gapers...they're everywhere...plus whats with tha winter cap? This is fuckin Florida...not Antartica!

So later on I'm on the beach, chillin, enjoying the setting sun.......fuckin gapes are feeding the seagulls!!

Damned birds flyin everywhere, dive bombing everyone, bird shit droppin outa tha sky.

So being a gaper is all a matter of perspective. Quick question tho about sumthin I've always wondered?

How do ya'll keep your boots dry when you water ski those thangs?

**abe froman** · 01-28-2011, 10:47 PM

"Who laughs about how many times they explain their rockered skis?"

Ohh I read that....

**snapt** · 01-28-2011, 10:56 PM

Fun Gnar moment from the other day.

Tourist lady is filming her hubby work his way down below the chair. Guy in the chair in front of me gives her a shout and she turns around and points the camera at him. He proceeds to say "I'd like to put it on record that I'm the best skier on the mountain!" What better souvenir could one ask for.

**Skirotica** · 01-31-2011, 03:40 PM

Originally Posted by snapt

Fun Gnar moment from the other day.

Tourist lady is filming her hubby work his way down below the chair. Guy in the chair in front of me gives her a shout and she turns around and points the camera at him. He proceeds to say "I'd like to put it on record that I'm the best skier on the mountain!" What better souvenir could one ask for.

This for the win.

**Wooster** · 01-31-2011, 03:58 PM

I was picking up my skis from Dick's, and there was some mouth-breather ahead of me having his bike worked on. He asked me how long I had been skiing and proceeded to give me a rough plot summary of the movie Frozen, and stated that the movie had convinced him never to go skiing.

I say we dodged a bullet.

**eblackwelder** · 02-01-2011, 08:10 AM

Originally Posted by Wooster

I was picking up my skis from Dick's

^^^^ This ^^^^

**Shadam** · 02-01-2011, 10:14 AM

I heard a great story from a maggot and i'll try to keep it short.

buddy had always wanted to try a particular brand skis ( I can't remember which brand)
His wife buys a pair of said skis. one day he asks her if he can ride said skis at the hill that day as she was at work.
Wife says ... "I'll think about it"
Now that just confirms she is a catch !!!