Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

[Sinecure]

Gaper (reaching down to pet a dog standing near me): Does your dog bite?
Me: No

The dog reaches up and bites the man on the hand.

Gaper: I thought you said your dog doesn't bite?
Me: That's not my dog.

Only works with full-on Chief Inspector Clouseau / Swiss Hotelier Peter Sellers accent.

[farmer]

I'm giving up on my BRO183's (soft), they're just too much for me and I'd like something a little easier to turn in tight trees... I should have got the 174's.

I'm 5'-10", 165lbs, like powder and trees and I don't huck off much of anything.

.........

[knumbskull]

For some reason I just think this needs to be here.

3 buddies and I were out at the bars in Aspen Saturday night while our girls were in Steamboat for a bachelorette thing. We walked in to the skybar and saw a couple getting engaged at 12:40 am in the lobby, how romantic.

We walk in to the bar and grab a table. This random creepy dude is shadowing us. He posts up about 10' away and is scoping us out. I glance over a little bit later and he has his shoes off. Thats kinda weird and he is still staring our group down. I look back a minute later and he is taking his pants off! Of course he isn't wearing underwear. Luckily he had enough modesty to pull his shirt down over his junk, almost like he was trying to make a tall T. Unluckily my buddy Bob had the prime viewing location and stared straight into the eye of One Eyed Willy.

The manager comes over:
"Dude you just took your pants off in my bar"
"I was hot"
"People eat there" He was sitting bare assed on a table
"This is how people do it where I'm from"
"Where are you from?"
"Houston"

He was promptly shown the door.

Welcome to Gay Ski Week!

[skibum_jr]

That was hilarious knumbskull. Had me laughing

[SkiNowWorkLater]

For some reason I just think this needs to be here.

3 buddies and I were out at the bars in Aspen Saturday night while our girls were in Steamboat for a bachelorette thing. We walked in to the skybar and saw a couple getting engaged at 12:40 am in the lobby, how romantic.

We walk in to the bar and grab a table. This random creepy dude is shadowing us. He posts up about 10' away and is scoping us out. I glance over a little bit later and he has his shoes off. Thats kinda weird and he is still staring our group down. I look back a minute later and he is taking his pants off! Of course he isn't wearing underwear. Luckily he had enough modesty to pull his shirt down over his junk, almost like he was trying to make a tall T. Unluckily my buddy Bob had the prime viewing location and stared straight into the eye of One Eyed Willy.

The manager comes over:
"Dude you just took your pants off in my bar"
"I was hot"
"People eat there" He was sitting bare assed on a table
"This is how people do it where I'm from"
"Where are you from?"
"Houston"

He was promptly shown the door.

Welcome to Gay Ski Week!

That was FigureEleven. He likes to escape from behind the curtain at the front desk and sneak into the bar to take his pants off every now and then.

[MJbumper1121]

lol "BLADES!" That guy looks like he wants to throw down. Classic!

[sadfist]

On the chair:

Some Guy (looking at my monoski): What year is that?
Me: Uh, this year.

Also on the chair:

Some Lady: What's that?
Me: A monoski.
Her: Are you European?
Me: No.

[Flyoverland Captive]

On the chair:

Some Guy (looking at my monoski): What year is that?
Me: Uh, this year.

Also on the chair:

Some Lady: What's that?
Me: A monoski.
Her: Are you European?
Me: No.

sadfist, you ski A-Basin?

[cmsummit]

Older lady scanning passes at Vail yesterday: "WOW, that's a quite a water bottle you must have in your backpack". (She was referring to my Avalung breathing tube, thinking it was a drinking tube).

Me: "It sure is. Only problem is it makes me pee a lot."

[sadfist]

sadfist, you ski A-Basin?

Nope. I ski the mean streets of NYC!

I think the above quotes were Stratton, VT. Although that reminds me of a few weeks ago I hit Okemo and it was pretty East Coast (cold as shit and icy) so there were only locals.

Guy manning the lift queue (even though there was no queue): That's the second one of those I've seen today!
Annoying smalltalk continues...I think it's a pretty safe bet I was the only person on a mono that day.

[Wes Mantooth]

We had a weird starting order for a race today and the kid behind me lined up in jeans and a steelers windbreaker with SL shinguards over the jeans. It was a great look.

[sadfist]

We had a weird starting order for a race today and the kid behind me lined up in jeans and a steelers windbreaker with SL shinguards over the jeans. It was a great look.

Snap a pic fool! That look is classic!

[MarcusBrody]

We had a weird starting order for a race today and the kid behind me lined up in jeans and a steelers windbreaker with SL shinguards over the jeans. It was a great look.

I want to hear that he ripped it.

[stuckathuntermtn]

On the chair:

Some Guy (looking at my monoski): What year is that?
Me: Uh, this year.

Also on the chair:

Some Lady: What's that?
Me: A monoski.
Her: Are you European?
Me: No.

Those are valid questions, weirdo.

[Sessiøn]

We had a weird starting order for a race today and the kid behind me lined up in jeans and a steelers windbreaker with SL shinguards over the jeans. It was a great look.

Did you ask him if he was Iceman?

[Skirotica]

Some gaper: "yada yada yada wide skis yada?"
Me:"yeah I'm so core."

Just trying to ensure that the oft repeated fat ski gaper quote is repeated.

The awesome part was that I was at cannon after the melt. It was bullet proof and I was on 105 mm underfoot. Who was the gaper?

[farmer]

not you. I've skied 114.5 underfoot (192 bros) on ice so hard that you didn't even leave tracks. That's how core I am.

[Haywood Jablomie]

You'll have to know a little Tahoe geography to get this one...

We are on Fallen Leaf road getting ready to hike and a guy rolls up and says, "hey, we're looking for Kirkwood."

Dude was only about 40 miles off and headed down a little one lane road in the woods at 12:00!

[Captain Anal]

We had a weird starting order for a race today and the kid behind me lined up in jeans and a steelers windbreaker with SL shinguards over the jeans. It was a great look.

There was a dude who used to fuckin' smoke everybody in slalom whenever I went to races at Brantling. Pretty sure he did it in jeans.
He's also probably a maggot.

[sadfist]

Those are valid questions, weirdo.

I wasn't wearing a fartbag I swear!

[eshed]

Here's a story from a buddy of mine: He was skiing somewhere on the EC (I forget where) and saw a Texan and his son standing at the top of the halfpipe.

Dad (to son): "Why don't you go on down in that stunt ditch and do something special?"

[Altaholic]

Older lady scanning passes at Vail yesterday: "WOW, that's a quite a water bottle you must have in your backpack". (She was referring to my Avalung breathing tube, thinking it was a drinking tube).

Me: "It sure is. Only problem is it makes me pee a lot."

Good one, gotta use that.

[jonesy]

I pulled a gaper move yesterday. Riding up the chair chatting with a women and she mention it was hard for her to ski cut up snow. I responded that she could always buy a turn with new technology. About that time I noticed the guy on the far side of the chair had S7's & he's looking at me. Umm didn't mean to harsh on your ride. He says I'm ignoring you..... Ok that's cool.

[sadfist]

We had a weird starting order for a race today and the kid behind me lined up in jeans and a steelers windbreaker with SL shinguards over the jeans. It was a great look.

Did you ask him if he was Iceman?

Can someone explain this? I see this and think it's really funny but I don't get it.

[TNKen]

Me with a 20 pound pry bar banging ice and icicles off the roof in front of our ski school.

Guy in camo--Knocking down ice? As he walked beneath where I was working.