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Thread: Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?
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01-18-2011, 03:47 PM #2601
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01-18-2011, 06:14 PM #2602
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01-18-2011, 06:17 PM #2603
For some reason I just think this needs to be here.
3 buddies and I were out at the bars in Aspen Saturday night while our girls were in Steamboat for a bachelorette thing. We walked in to the skybar and saw a couple getting engaged at 12:40 am in the lobby, how romantic.
We walk in to the bar and grab a table. This random creepy dude is shadowing us. He posts up about 10' away and is scoping us out. I glance over a little bit later and he has his shoes off. Thats kinda weird and he is still staring our group down. I look back a minute later and he is taking his pants off! Of course he isn't wearing underwear. Luckily he had enough modesty to pull his shirt down over his junk, almost like he was trying to make a tall T. Unluckily my buddy Bob had the prime viewing location and stared straight into the eye of One Eyed Willy.
The manager comes over:
"Dude you just took your pants off in my bar"
"I was hot"
"People eat there" He was sitting bare assed on a table
"This is how people do it where I'm from"
"Where are you from?"
"Houston"
He was promptly shown the door.
Welcome to Gay Ski Week!
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01-18-2011, 06:27 PM #2604
That was hilarious knumbskull. Had me laughing
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01-18-2011, 06:27 PM #2605
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01-18-2011, 08:40 PM #2606
lol "BLADES!" That guy looks like he wants to throw down. Classic!
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01-19-2011, 04:29 PM #2607Sweatpant Boner
- Join Date
- Jan 2011
- Location
- NYC
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On the chair:
Some Guy (looking at my monoski): What year is that?
Me: Uh, this year.
Also on the chair:
Some Lady: What's that?
Me: A monoski.
Her: Are you European?
Me: No.
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01-19-2011, 06:12 PM #2608
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01-19-2011, 06:20 PM #2609
Older lady scanning passes at Vail yesterday: "WOW, that's a quite a water bottle you must have in your backpack". (She was referring to my Avalung breathing tube, thinking it was a drinking tube).
Me: "It sure is. Only problem is it makes me pee a lot."Old's Cool.
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01-19-2011, 06:26 PM #2610Sweatpant Boner
- Join Date
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Nope. I ski the mean streets of NYC!
I think the above quotes were Stratton, VT. Although that reminds me of a few weeks ago I hit Okemo and it was pretty East Coast (cold as shit and icy) so there were only locals.
Guy manning the lift queue (even though there was no queue): That's the second one of those I've seen today!
Annoying smalltalk continues...I think it's a pretty safe bet I was the only person on a mono that day.
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01-19-2011, 06:38 PM #2611
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01-19-2011, 06:41 PM #2612Sweatpant Boner
- Join Date
- Jan 2011
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01-19-2011, 06:43 PM #2613
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01-19-2011, 06:57 PM #2614
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01-19-2011, 08:10 PM #2615
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01-19-2011, 08:26 PM #2616
Some gaper: "yada yada yada wide skis yada?"
Me:"yeah I'm so core."
Just trying to ensure that the oft repeated fat ski gaper quote is repeated.
The awesome part was that I was at cannon after the melt. It was bullet proof and I was on 105 mm underfoot. Who was the gaper?
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01-19-2011, 08:28 PM #2617
not you. I've skied 114.5 underfoot (192 bros) on ice so hard that you didn't even leave tracks. That's how core I am.
Originally Posted by Smoke
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01-19-2011, 08:47 PM #2618
You'll have to know a little Tahoe geography to get this one...
We are on Fallen Leaf road getting ready to hike and a guy rolls up and says, "hey, we're looking for Kirkwood."
Dude was only about 40 miles off and headed down a little one lane road in the woods at 12:00!"Not so loud, huh kid? I was up all night doing a crossword puzzle."
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01-19-2011, 09:19 PM #2619
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01-19-2011, 09:27 PM #2620Sweatpant Boner
- Join Date
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01-20-2011, 12:10 AM #2621
Here's a story from a buddy of mine: He was skiing somewhere on the EC (I forget where) and saw a Texan and his son standing at the top of the halfpipe.
Dad (to son): "Why don't you go on down in that stunt ditch and do something special?"
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01-20-2011, 05:35 AM #2622
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01-20-2011, 07:23 AM #2623
I pulled a gaper move yesterday. Riding up the chair chatting with a women and she mention it was hard for her to ski cut up snow. I responded that she could always buy a turn with new technology. About that time I noticed the guy on the far side of the chair had S7's & he's looking at me. Umm didn't mean to harsh on your ride. He says I'm ignoring you..... Ok that's cool.
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01-20-2011, 08:38 AM #2624Sweatpant Boner
- Join Date
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01-20-2011, 08:59 AM #2625
Me with a 20 pound pry bar banging ice and icicles off the roof in front of our ski school.
Guy in camo--Knocking down ice? As he walked beneath where I was working.In order to properly convert this thread to a polyasshat thread to more fully enrage the liberal left frequenting here...... (insert latest democratic blunder of your choice).
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