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Thread: Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?
01-20-2008, 03:33 PM #1
Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?
Made the mistake of going out today. No headphones. Heard many a sweet comments from Texans in line, but a Nebraskan gets my vote today.
"Them there moguls were made for kids skis, not the big long ones we're on'" - 6'2" guy from Omaha on 153 rentals
01-20-2008, 03:43 PM #2
My new favorite is "there's a powder area over there." (see recent Telluride avalanche video)Leave No Turn Unstoned!
01-20-2008, 03:51 PM #3
Between yesterday and today, I have seen the full spectrum of gaper-tourist-debauchery. The best one I have ever heard though has got to be, "Are the entrances to the ski lodges very big?" Turned out this person thought that you walked around the lodge with your skis on, and only clicked out of the bindings when you get back your car.---------------
01-20-2008, 03:57 PM #4
Back in December, 9 inches of fresh snow on the trails and still snowing, the man with a one-piece fartbag says to his wife in the lift line "I am not real impressed with the grooming here."
Of course, it was heard at Killington..."You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning".
01-20-2008, 04:04 PM #5
01-20-2008, 04:20 PM #6
Gapers not only entertain me with their funny/twisted/inaccurate comments, they make me so glad that I have chosen this life path instead of theirs! Life is good!Leave No Turn Unstoned!
01-20-2008, 04:32 PM #7
01-20-2008, 04:34 PM #8
01-20-2008, 05:04 PM #9
"Do you rent Extreme Skis?"
I'm not sure anything beats the recent magazine ad campaign by Vail with the slogan: "Vertical...as in, perpendicular to the Earth"
( for all the Vail fans, that's funny because Vail's flat. Aspen = Rad, Vail = Lame. Aspen = A Real Ski Town, Vail = Built on the Wrong Side of the Interstate. <end rant> )
Or the Beaver Creek ad where they actually photoshopped a skier into a shot going uphill...
Working in a rental shop, however, has its benefits...
Quote from yesterday..."Do you have any extreme skis?"
Luckily, we have plenty of Apache Recons to keep all the extremists happy.
Shred steady, everybody!
01-20-2008, 05:08 PM #10
With disgust and dissapointment in his voice, a gaper exclaimed, "Man, this stuff is everywhere!" -In reference to the 10" of powder at the Canyons a couple weeks ago.
01-20-2008, 05:14 PM #11
Two douche fucks in front of me today trashing on my local mtn "this place doesn't have enough cliffs"...we're on the chair behind them and watch them both eat shit getting off the lift...I told them to learn to get off the fucking lift before they ever try jumping off of anything.oh so i guess i'm the asshole!
01-20-2008, 05:14 PM #12
I'm doing WFA this weekend and one of the guys, who obviously doesn't know much about the outdoors, smugly asks our teacher "so, uh, can you tie the one handed bowline?" Our teacher sort of pauses trying to understand why he would ask such a retarded question and says "uh, yeah... thats an important one to know..." (very sarcastically). It was hilarious.President of the Hugh Conway Book Club
01-20-2008, 05:27 PM #13
i was at stowe on wednesday and rode up the lift with a guy who told me that we've gotten enough snow for the season and that we don't need anymore.
01-20-2008, 06:08 PM #14
The sad, miserable reality of our stability here in the Canadian Rockies makes the following a gapper quote
"When are they going to open (Delirium Dive/ Whitehorn II)?"
These are the interesting, steep "freeride" zones out here and they are not setting up at all... the BC is producing a death or close call every week and skiers still expect snowsaftey to produce instant stability inbounds in tricky terrain.
01-20-2008, 06:46 PM #15
"Of course I'm an expert skier: I post on TGR!"
01-20-2008, 06:46 PM #16
While holding the mountain house doors open (in uniform, with a smile and polite personality full on), a middle-aged woman slips and takes a digger on some glistening ice. Upon getting helped up, she proclaims:
"I didn't expect that ICE to be so slipperyAn Evolutionary Rider
01-20-2008, 06:52 PM #17
Overheard this morning 2 cars down from me while booting up in the parking lot at Squaw:
"All the cool kids are on parabolic skis these days"
01-20-2008, 06:56 PM #18
Didn't hear it personally but a local I was on a chair with today said that earlier in the day she saw an adult uncle point to a disabled skier with the Adaptive Sport Center and tell his child nephew, "hey if you practice really hard you might get as good as that guy". I think the ASC skier had Cerebral Palsy. The local called him out and almost tossed him off the chair.
01-20-2008, 06:59 PM #19
"why are skiers so snobby?"Lord King of the Beater-Kooks
01-20-2008, 07:11 PM #20oh so i guess i'm the asshole!
01-20-2008, 07:23 PM #21
I'm not sure this counts, since it wasn't this weekend, and it was while I was working in the village (i.e. not on the hill), but pretty funny nonetheless:
"Where all the whales at?"
-said by a very confused man who was under the impression that there was whale watching in Whistler
01-20-2008, 07:24 PM #22
Last week I was asked how my Praxis float on the hard stuff. I told him I didn't know what he meant and tried to ignore him the rest of the cat ride.
01-20-2008, 07:28 PM #23
Pointing at my Dad's new Vokl Mantras "Man those things must be 20 years old I havent seen ski like that in a while".Sexual climax lasts mere moments; but Deep Powder is extended Nirvana.
01-20-2008, 07:33 PM #24
"how do we get to the icebar from here?"
For the CB folk- overheard as some gapers stared down angle gully...
01-20-2008, 07:34 PM #25
Aussie Snowboarder next to me on the lift, motioning to my Praxis (on a recent 24" powder day):
"So what's the deal with those skis?"
IrieRon: "Bigger is better?"
Aussie Snowboarder: "Like when you don't know how to ride a bike and you have training wheels?"
IrieRon: <silent>Do you by chance happen to own a large, yellowish, very flat cat?
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