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View Full Version : With All Due Respect, I Choose Not To Go Fuck Myself



phUnk
06-06-2007, 11:30 AM
Sir. Sir. Sir! Now that you have, I dare say, made your opinion on this matter more than abundantly clear, might I finally be afforded the opportunity to respond? Thank you. You have spoken eloquently, and I do appreciate your directness and candor. However, after due consideration of your most adamant proposal, I regret to inform you that I will neither be going nor fucking myself, not now and not in the foreseeable future.

I say this knowing full well the extent to which your proposal concerning the fucking of myself was emphasized, both with hand gestures and the raising of your voice beyond that of civil conversation, and despite the evident urgency which moved you to repeat the recommendation seven times in rapid succession.

As much as I, a gentleman, would like to accommodate you, I am nonetheless afraid that I must reject your suggestion out of hand. I find it flatly untenable. And though I appreciate the concern manifest in your statement regarding the use to which I might put my bottom, I do not consider the option of fucking myself—with a broomstick, sideways, as I believe you specified—to be a course of action worthy of my pursuit.

In fact, at the risk of sounding impolitic, your manner and phrasing have have caused me to doubt whether you have my best interests in mind. Indeed, sir, given the hostility and lack of propriety with which your suggestion was brought to my attention, I think that the case could easily be made that, conversely, you should be the one to go and fuck yourself.

Perhaps you might wish to proceed with that undertaking by employing the aforementioned broomstick in the sideways manner you were so kind as to prescribe earlier.

Oh, you don't appreciate that suggestion? Cheerfully retracted, then. Perhaps it is fair to say that we have reached something of an impasse on this fucking-of-oneself matter, and that we should agree to disagree, as it were, and move along to some of the other actions that you, in the short time we have known each other, have suggested that I undertake. Such as your idea that it might be advantageous for me to fuck my mother.

Let us, for argument's sake, suppose that my mother were still among the living. Even then, the prospect of engaging in sexual intercourse with her nonetheless raises within me a whole host of repulsive associations which, I feel utterly confident in saying, even after intense rumination on the subject, it would not be within my power to overcome.

I daresay that the obverse action, of fucking your mother in my own mother's stead, however, leaves me no such compunctions and is an undertaking I am more than willing to commit to at this time.

If the character and comportment of the issue of her womb is any indication, I cannot help but assume that obtaining your mother's consent for such an act—including the oral and anal penetration which your remarks so clearly describe—would be an easy matter.

Trust me when I say to you that I have listened to and duly considered everything you have said to me. But in all frankness, I can nonetheless assure you that I will most certainly not be eating a bag of dicks or shoving it up or blowing it out—whatever "it" might be, as you have left that crucial pronoun tragically without antecedent—my ass.

In fact, after all of this dialogue, there's only one conclusion I have reached that I'm even remotely certain is true: You're a goddamned motherfucking cocksucker.

Good day, sir! (http://www.theonion.com)

TJ.Brk
06-06-2007, 11:34 AM
tough day in the cubicle?

Odin
06-06-2007, 11:57 AM
This is the most that phUnk has posted in a while.

crtl - c

crtl - v

phew!:p

Tippster
06-06-2007, 12:30 PM
Thanks for the new sig. pHizzle.

phUnk
06-06-2007, 12:49 PM
This is the most that phUnk has posted in a while.

crtl - c

crtl - v

phew!:p

I've been busy working on your Wikipedia page.

Odin
06-06-2007, 12:56 PM
crap.



23456

Hutch
06-06-2007, 12:59 PM
This one? (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Odin)


Odin is an ambivalent deity. Old Norse (Viking Age (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Viking_Age)) connotations of Odin lie with "poetry, inspiration" as well as with "fury, madness and the wondorer,." Odin sacrificed one of his eyes at Mímir (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M%C3%ADmir)'s spring in order to gain the wisdom of the ages. Odin gives to worthy poets the mead (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mead) of inspiration, made by the dwarves, from the vessel Óð-rœrir.[1] (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Odin#_note-0)
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/1d/Georg_von_Rosen_-_Oden_som_vandringsman%2C_1886_%28Odin%2C_the_Wand erer%29.jpg/250px-Georg_von_Rosen_-_Oden_som_vandringsman%2C_1886_%28Odin%2C_the_Wand erer%29.jpg (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Georg_von_Rosen_-_Oden_som_vandringsman%2C_1886_%28Odin%2C_the_Wand erer%29.jpg) http://en.wikipedia.org/skins-1.5/common/images/magnify-clip.png (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Georg_von_Rosen_-_Oden_som_vandringsman%2C_1886_%28Odin%2C_the_Wand erer%29.jpg)
An 1886 depiction of Odin by Georg von Rosen (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Georg_von_Rosen).


Odin is associated with the concept of the Wild Hunt (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wild_Hunt), a noisy, bellowing movement across the sky, leading a host of slain warriors.
Consistent with this, Snorri Sturluson (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snorri_Sturluson)'s Prose Edda (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prose_Edda) depicts Odin as welcoming the great dead warriors who have died in battle into his hall, Valhall (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valhall), which when literally interpreted, signifies the hall of the slain. These fallen, the einherjar (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Einherjar), are assembled and entertained by Odin in order that they in return might fight for and support the gods in the final battle of the end of Earth, Ragnarök (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ragnar%C3%B6k).
He is also a god of war, appearing throughout Norse myth as the bringer of victory. In the Norse sagas (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norse_saga), Odin sometimes acts as the instigator of wars, and is said to have been able to start wars by simply throwing down his javelin (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Javelin) Gungnir (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gungnir), and/or sending his valkyries (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valkyrie), to influence the battle toward the end that he desires. Valkyries (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valkyrie) are Odin's beautiful battle maidens that went out to the fields of war to select and collect the worthy men who died in battle to come and sit at Odin's table in Valhalla, feasting and battling until they had to fight in the final battle, Ragnarök (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ragnar%C3%B6k). Odin would also appear on the battle-field, sitting upon the leader of the Norse as two ravens on each shoulder, Hugin (Thought) and Munin (Memory) (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hugin_and_Munin), and two wolves on each side.

Odin
06-06-2007, 02:31 PM
I'd get rid of the ravens, but if I send away thought I can't do anything to memory, and if I get rid of memory, I can't remember to send away thought.

haydukelives
06-06-2007, 07:05 PM
did you go to law school?

Particle
06-06-2007, 09:05 PM
That is the most I've laughed in quite a while. Cheers!

Lloyd Braun
06-06-2007, 09:12 PM
You're a goddamned motherfucking cocksucker.


ha ha ha ha!

take that beeotch

irul&ublo
06-07-2007, 04:15 PM
http://ladybunny.net/blog/uploaded_images/dilstickphoto-723283.jpg

FNG
06-07-2007, 08:35 PM
^ that is amazing. I am seriously in awe right now.

gaijin
06-07-2007, 09:17 PM
Sir. Sir. Sir! Now that you have, I dare say, made your opinion on this matter more than abundantly clear, might I finally be afforded the opportunity to respond? Thank you. You have spoken eloquently, and I do appreciate your directness and candor. However, after due consideration of your most adamant proposal, I regret to inform you that I will neither be going nor fucking myself, not now and not in the foreseeable future.

I say this knowing full well the extent to which your proposal concerning the fucking of myself was emphasized, both with hand gestures and the raising of your voice beyond that of civil conversation, and despite the evident urgency which moved you to repeat the recommendation seven times in rapid succession.

As much as I, a gentleman, would like to accommodate you, I am nonetheless afraid that I must reject your suggestion out of hand. I find it flatly untenable. And though I appreciate the concern manifest in your statement regarding the use to which I might put my bottom, I do not consider the option of fucking myself—with a broomstick, sideways, as I believe you specified—to be a course of action worthy of my pursuit.

In fact, at the risk of sounding impolitic, your manner and phrasing have have caused me to doubt whether you have my best interests in mind. Indeed, sir, given the hostility and lack of propriety with which your suggestion was brought to my attention, I think that the case could easily be made that, conversely, you should be the one to go and fuck yourself.

Perhaps you might wish to proceed with that undertaking by employing the aforementioned broomstick in the sideways manner you were so kind as to prescribe earlier.

Oh, you don't appreciate that suggestion? Cheerfully retracted, then. Perhaps it is fair to say that we have reached something of an impasse on this fucking-of-oneself matter, and that we should agree to disagree, as it were, and move along to some of the other actions that you, in the short time we have known each other, have suggested that I undertake. Such as your idea that it might be advantageous for me to fuck my mother.

Let us, for argument's sake, suppose that my mother were still among the living. Even then, the prospect of engaging in sexual intercourse with her nonetheless raises within me a whole host of repulsive associations which, I feel utterly confident in saying, even after intense rumination on the subject, it would not be within my power to overcome.

I daresay that the obverse action, of fucking your mother in my own mother's stead, however, leaves me no such compunctions and is an undertaking I am more than willing to commit to at this time.

If the character and comportment of the issue of her womb is any indication, I cannot help but assume that obtaining your mother's consent for such an act—including the oral and anal penetration which your remarks so clearly describe—would be an easy matter.

Trust me when I say to you that I have listened to and duly considered everything you have said to me. But in all frankness, I can nonetheless assure you that I will most certainly not be eating a bag of dicks or shoving it up or blowing it out—whatever "it" might be, as you have left that crucial pronoun tragically without antecedent—my ass.

In fact, after all of this dialogue, there's only one conclusion I have reached that I'm even remotely certain is true: You're a goddamned motherfucking cocksucker.

Good day, sir! (http://www.theonion.com)


Are you Bruce?

adam
06-07-2007, 09:45 PM
Great Odin's raven!
Uncle Jakob's corn cob pipe!

adam
06-07-2007, 09:47 PM
This is the most that phUnk has posted in a while.

crtl - c

crtl - v

phew!:p
Well I see the Ctarl key

AsheanMT
06-07-2007, 10:49 PM
Hey Odin! Any chance I can get some of that mead made by the dwarves? I bet its damn tasty ,and being an Irishman, I'm certain I can handle its intoxicating effects upon my psyche.

RootSkier
06-08-2007, 10:15 AM
http://ladybunny.net/blog/uploaded_images/dilstickphoto-723283.jpg

Wow. Is that the LesboStrap 1000000000000000?

Or are the straps for your feet so you can fuck yourself?