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MapleSyrup
04-20-2007, 10:54 PM
Let's hear 'em. The more obscure the better. I'll start...

"I feel like a hundred dollars."

MapleSyrup
04-20-2007, 10:59 PM
It's easy to grin
when your ship comes in
and you've got the stock market beat.

But the man worthwhile
is the man who can smile
when his pants are too tight in the seat.

mitch buchannon
04-20-2007, 11:33 PM
You two look like a couple of boobies.

Arty50
04-21-2007, 12:13 AM
So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one -- big hitter, the Lama -- long, into a ten-thousand foot crevice, right at the base of this glacier. And do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga...gunga -- gunga galunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consiousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.

Core Shot
04-21-2007, 04:01 AM
"You musta been something before electricity"

"You wanna make $14 the hard way?"

"[cough cough] what kind of shit is this?
Its the best, man - I got it from a Negro - you're probably so high already you don't even know it"

MapleSyrup
04-21-2007, 04:54 AM
Carl Spackler: "License to kill gophers by the government of the United Nations. Man, free to kill gophers at will. To kill, you must know your enemy, and in this case my enemy is a varmint. And a varmint will never quit - ever. They're like the Viet Cong - Varmint Cong. So you have to fall back on superior intelligence and superior firepower. And that's all she wrote."

MapleSyrup
04-21-2007, 05:07 AM
"What are you doing on Saturday, Danny?"
"Nothing, sir."
"Great! How would you like to mow my lawn?"

The AD
04-21-2007, 11:38 PM
That's a peach, hon.

MapleSyrup
04-21-2007, 11:59 PM
Honey, would you loofah my stretchmarks?

booner
04-22-2007, 05:15 AM
"My father...my father never liked you"

"With my lips?"

MapleSyrup
04-22-2007, 05:39 AM
"This is good stuff. I got it from a Negro. You're probably high already and you don't even know it..."

milton
04-22-2007, 07:27 AM
You take drugs Danny?

Everyday.

Good! So what's the problem?

Nobody Famous
04-22-2007, 08:52 AM
Al Czervik (Rodney Dangerfield), to Wang, the oriental guy who's taking pictures of everything: "I think this place is restricted Wang, so don't tell 'em your Jewish, okay?" Link (http://www.moviesoundscentral.com/sounds/caddyshack/jewish.wav)

Ted Knight: You know, you should play with Dr. Beeper and myself. I mean, he's been club champion for three years running and I'm no slouch myself.
Chevy Chase: Don't sell yourself short, judge. You're a tremendous slouch.

Judge Smails: Oh, Porterhouse! Look at the wax build-up on those shoes! This is fine leather! I want that wax stripped off! I want them creamed and buffed with a fine chamois. And I want them now! Chop chop!
You then see Porterhouse mumbling something, holding the shoes are under a spinning shop grinder with smoke coming off them, and pieces flying everywhere.

SkiEvil
04-22-2007, 09:05 AM
"I was born, to lick your face."

fondigley
04-22-2007, 09:01 PM
This place got a pool?


Pool and a pond... Pond be good for you.

criscam
04-22-2007, 09:03 PM
This place got a pool?


Pool and a pond... Pond be good for you.

my favorite!

dn4989
04-22-2007, 09:18 PM
Be the ball Danny.:fm:

Flexon Phil
04-22-2007, 10:07 PM
Judge Smails:How do you measure yourself against other golfers?

Ty: By height

dn4989
04-22-2007, 10:08 PM
Hey you scratched my anchor!

MapleSyrup
04-23-2007, 06:32 AM
"I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them."

Stone-Free
04-23-2007, 07:31 AM
Maggie: Yeah? Well tanks fer nuttin Noonan!

Stone-Free
04-23-2007, 07:32 AM
"$50 bucks says the Smails kid picks his nose"

uppernotmaster
04-23-2007, 08:00 AM
"I almost got head from Amelia Earhart!"

Flexon Phil
04-23-2007, 10:23 AM
Pick that wrapper up...

Stone-Free
04-23-2007, 10:36 AM
"People dont say that about you Carl, as far as you know."

VTskibum
04-23-2007, 02:04 PM
Lacey Underall: My uncle says you've got a screw loose.
Ty Webb: Your uncle molests collies.

Flexon Phil
04-23-2007, 02:17 PM
"The world needs ditch diggers too..."

dn4989
04-23-2007, 02:27 PM
"you buy a hat like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup too."

dn4989
04-23-2007, 02:28 PM
You'll get nothing and like it!"

scoober
04-24-2007, 10:16 AM
"What's wrong with lumber? I own two lumberyards."

"I notice you don't spend too much time there."

"I'm not quite sure where they are."

The AD
04-24-2007, 11:05 AM
Porterhouse: "Colored Boy? Why you son of a bitch..." [or something along those lines :)]

Al Czervik: "Did somebody step on a duck?"

yooper
04-24-2007, 12:22 PM
Ty Webb: What brings you to this nape of the woods, neck of the wape; How come you're here?

gg8983
04-24-2007, 01:18 PM
"I feel like a hundred dollars."
What part of the movie is that from?


"The amazing stuff about this is, that you can play 36 holes on it in the afternoon, take it home and just get stoned to the bejeezus-belt that night on this stuff. "

uppernotmaster
04-24-2007, 01:40 PM
"you buy a hat like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup too."

"Oh, it looks good on you though"


"Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it. "

Dhelihiker
04-24-2007, 01:49 PM
ba na na na na na na na

The AD
04-24-2007, 01:49 PM
What part of the movie is that from?

I think Ty (chevy) says it to Lacey, but I forget the specifics.

uppernotmaster
04-24-2007, 02:01 PM
Hey, doll. Could you scare up another round for our table over here? And tell the cook this is low grade dog food. I've had better food at the ballgame, you know? This steak still has marks from where the jockey was hitting it.

MapleSyrup
04-25-2007, 03:30 AM
^^^ Noice!!!!

"I hear this place is restricted, Wang, so don't tell 'em you're Jewish, okay?"

Arty50
04-25-2007, 09:26 AM
"$50 bucks says the Smails kid picks his nose"

"50 bucks more says he eats it."

"I smell varmint poontang, and the only good varmint poontang is dead varmint poontang, I think."

scoober
04-25-2007, 12:34 PM
"You're not a man, you're a bishop, for God's sakes!"
"There is no God..."

uppernotmaster
04-25-2007, 12:51 PM
“Let me tell you a little story? I once knew a guy who could have been a great golfer, could have gone pro, all he needed was a little time and practice. Decided to go to college instead. Went for four years, did pretty well. At the end of his four years, his last semester he was kicked out... You know what for? He was night putting, just putting at night with the fifteen-year-old daughter of the Dean... You know who that guy was Danny?”
“No. “
“Take one good guess. “
“Bob Hope? “
“Ha ha... No, that guy was Mitch Comstein, my roommate. He was a good guy.”

The AD
04-25-2007, 02:12 PM
"Very funny. What time are you due back at Boy's Town?"

Stone-Free
04-25-2007, 04:49 PM
Carl: Oh Mrs. Green, your a monkey-woman, and you know it. You're wearing green so you can hide. But I see you Mrs. Green...

Your a tramp! You hit it right where you wanted it!

gg8983
04-25-2007, 06:48 PM
[annoying sister] MOOOOOM, Danny saw me naked!!!!! [/annoying sister]

Plakespear
04-25-2007, 07:59 PM
Lacey Underall: I enjoy skiiny skiing... going to bulfights on acid...

Flexon Phil
04-25-2007, 08:20 PM
Al: Drop Anchor...hey, you scratched my anchor

newGuy123
04-25-2007, 09:34 PM
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Fritz
04-26-2007, 10:05 AM
Carl:
Can I say something to you, Frank?

We can do that; we don't even have to have a reason.

dn4989
04-26-2007, 10:25 AM
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Get the fuck out with the product placement biatchhhh. :fm:

Griz
04-26-2007, 10:29 AM
Carl: Cannonball!!!!!!!!!!!! Cannonball coming!

MapleSyrup
04-27-2007, 12:28 AM
"I have to laugh, because I've outsmarted even myself. My enemy, my foe, is an animal. In order to conquer the animal, I have to learn to think like an animal. And, whenever possible, to look like one. I've gotta get inside this guy's pelt and crawl around for a few days. Who's the gopher's ally. His friends. The harmless squirrel and the friendly rabbit."

http://www.carlspackler.com/archive/cs_127.jpg

Airsatz
04-27-2007, 10:15 AM
"Whats that sign say?"
"No bare feet."
"Whats that sign say?"
"No fighting!"


"You owe me one gumball machine"



"So what? So lets dance!"

cold_smoke
04-27-2007, 10:35 AM
"Thank you very little"
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Must be a nice change from dreary old Manhattan"
"Yes, I was getting tired of having fun all the time."

MapleSyrup
05-01-2007, 06:33 PM
"I shoulda stayed home and played with myself!"

Dantheman
05-02-2007, 09:30 AM
I was bored flipping through the digi cable guide the other day when I saw Caddyshack was on HBO. I flipped to it only to find out that it was actually Caddyshack 2, I was so very, very angry.

gg8983
05-02-2007, 04:51 PM
How about a Fresca?

Stone-Free
05-03-2007, 08:25 AM
Lacey: "I think I've got enougth butter, thanks"...

Switters
05-03-2007, 08:33 AM
Lacey: Oh, you were in the war?
Ty: (pats leg and hobbles) Nope, homo.

That one slays me every time I see it.

mtnjam
05-03-2007, 07:43 PM
Danny to Lacey: "I just wanted to let you know that because of this you don't have to stop seeing other people"

MapleSyrup
05-04-2007, 01:25 AM
Ty: "Me winning isn't important, you do!"

Noonan: "Nice grammar"

HookedOnWinter
05-04-2007, 09:28 AM
Carl: This crowd has gone deadly silent, a Cinderella story outta nowhere. Former greenskeeper and now about to become the masters champion.

Big E
05-10-2007, 10:14 AM
The normally reserved Augusta crowd, going wild...

I can't believe we made it to pg. 3 before Carl's announcing bit was mentioned!

The AD
05-10-2007, 11:11 AM
"Hey, everybody! We're all gonna get laid!"

MapleSyrup
05-11-2007, 12:51 AM
"I've stopped talking... Not talking now"

Griz
05-11-2007, 06:26 AM
"Oh, yes... well... Just snake a tube down her throat and I'll be there in 4 or 5 hours." - Dr. Beeper.

telepariah
05-11-2007, 08:29 AM
Judge Smails: You should play with us sometime. Dr. Beeper's been club champion three years running and I'm no slouch myself.
Ty Webb: Don't sell yourself short, Judge. You're a tremendous slouch.


Judge Smails: Ty, your father and I, we prepped together, we went to college together. We went to war together. We built Bushwwod. Some people just don't belong.
Ty Webb: Let's make it forty thousand. (Judge grins. Ty chuckles and draws the judge close to share a secret.) My dad... never liked you.


Carl Spackler: I tell you what to do about Smails. You just cut the hamstring a little. He'll stand on his back foot and slice everything into the woods. He'll give up the game.


Carl Spackler: It's not my fault nobody can understand you, you fuzzy foreigner.


Lacey Underall: You wanna tie me up with some of your ties, Ty?


Al Czervik: Golf courses and cemetaries the biggest wastes of prime real estate. Only reason I'm here is cause I might buy this dump.


Judge Smails: I owe you nothing.
Al Czervik: Oh yeah? I thought so. Moose! Rocco! Help the judge find his checkbook!


and it's not pick up that wrapper, it's...
"PICK UP THAT BLOOD!"

The AD
05-11-2007, 10:03 AM
J
and it's not pick up that wrapper, it's...
"PICK UP THAT BLOOD!"

No, Lou says both.

"you want to be replaced by golf carts, keep it up."

telepariah
05-11-2007, 12:11 PM
I believe you are correct, sir.

Nunzio: How was it?
Maggie: How was what?
Nunzio: It couldn't have been that good then.

MapleSyrup
05-30-2007, 05:20 AM
BUMP... (We've got so many more left!)

"Look at this! This is the worst hat I ever saw! I bet if you buy a hat like this you get a free bowl of soup!

But it looks good on you though.":rolleyes:

...

"HEY WHITEY, WHERE'S YOUR HAT?"

uppernotmaster
05-30-2007, 07:02 AM
Carl to Ty: Well, I got a lot of stuff on order. You know... credit trouble.

Tye 1on
05-31-2007, 04:23 PM
It's good to be good Danny-

ninjabirdman
05-31-2007, 04:53 PM
spalding, get your foot off the boat!

StormRider
05-31-2007, 05:31 PM
The Zen philosopher Basho once said ‘A flute with no holes is not a flute. A donut with no hole is a Danish.’ Funny guy.

Stone-Free
05-31-2007, 11:54 PM
Lacy to Ty: "I tried to look you up in the phone book but I couldn't find a listing for Mr. Wonderful."

Ty: "Really? What spelling did you use?"

Stone-Free
05-31-2007, 11:56 PM
Carl holding up the Baby Ruth in the pool- "Found it!"

"Its no big deal."

Arty50
06-01-2007, 09:01 AM
Cannonball it!!!

The AD
06-01-2007, 09:11 AM
"It's a little harsh."

gg8983
06-01-2007, 10:12 AM
Lacy: Were you in the war?
Ty: No..(pats leg with fake limp)...homo.

BucBanzai
06-02-2007, 05:04 PM
This steak still has marks where the jockey was hitting it.

BucBanzai
06-02-2007, 05:05 PM
This is a hybrid. This is a cross, ah, of Bluegrass, Kentucky Bluegrass, Featherbed Bent, and Northern California Sensemilia. The amazing stuff about this is, that you can play 36 holes on it in the afternoon, take it home and just get stoned to the bejeezus-belt that night on this stuff.

Blatant
06-03-2007, 08:25 PM
"oh but it looks good on you though......."

Tye 1on
06-04-2007, 10:29 AM
"this isn't Russia, is this Russia? No, this isn't Russia..." [just a bit obscure...]

Stone-Free
06-04-2007, 11:07 AM
Carl: "You know Ty, if you wanna hang out or rap with somebody, or just get weird man, you know, buddies for life."

uppernotmaster
06-04-2007, 12:08 PM
Carl to the Bishop: "If I were you, I'd keep playin.' I don't think the really heavy stuff is comin' down for quite a while."

Tye 1on
06-04-2007, 12:45 PM
So that's it Maggie, we'll get married.

Ohhhhh, Danny, that's allll I need...

MapleSyrup
06-10-2007, 05:58 PM
Smails: "Gambling is illegal at Bushwood and I NEVER slice...

*swing*

"DAMN!"

mushmouth
06-10-2007, 07:19 PM
Ty - "I don't play golf, for money...against people."

Bishop - "My name's Fred and I'm a man, same as you!"

gg8983
06-13-2007, 01:18 PM
Ty: Remember Danny - Two wrongs don't make a right but three rights make a left.

Spackler: Wait up, girls; I got a salami I gotta hide still.

BucBanzai
06-13-2007, 09:32 PM
" IT'S IN THE HOLE... "

Blatant
09-09-2009, 10:21 PM
don't you have homes?

nutcase
09-09-2009, 11:58 PM
That kangaroo stole my ball!

MMP
09-10-2009, 10:45 AM
"that must be the tea"

Huck_Schmuck
09-10-2009, 01:04 PM
i've always contemplated becoming a golf club

cdlv
09-10-2009, 01:31 PM
"billy billy billy,"
"RATFARTS!!!!!"

BigLeagueBrian
09-10-2009, 02:31 PM
"dont trip in the water, big foot"

NorthernSpotted...
09-10-2009, 05:45 PM
We can do that; we don't even have to have a reason.

I say this all the time, pretty much whenever some asks if can do this or that. No one ever gets it. And they look at me like I'm the weird one. Fuck that.

Hong Jong Fuey
09-10-2009, 07:09 PM
Ty Webb: "A flute with no holes, is not a flute. A donut with no hole, is a Danish."

soods
09-11-2009, 01:41 AM
"the heavy stuff isnt coming down for quite some time now..."

GagePLoungin
09-11-2009, 01:45 AM
My dingy's bigger than your whole boat!

Hong Jong Fuey
09-11-2009, 07:53 AM
"Hey Wang! Its a parking lot!"

I actually use this a fair amount when I see tourists in NYC taking pictures of random stuff.

MMP
09-11-2009, 03:07 PM
"ooooohhhh, Madonna with meatballs"

Hong Jong Fuey
09-12-2009, 08:01 AM
But if I kill all the golfers, they're gonna lock me up and throw away the key...

hrstrat57
09-12-2009, 10:12 AM
Miss it....mmmm miss it....

hrstrat57
09-12-2009, 10:12 AM
Put that steering wheel back over where it belongs.....

chk out www.carlspackler.com and d/l your favorites

MMP
09-12-2009, 01:26 PM
"he looks like dick cavet"

vinzclortho
09-13-2009, 11:13 AM
You're quite attractive for a beautiful girl with a great body.

I like you Betty.
Danny, sir.
Danny.

Hong Jong Fuey
09-13-2009, 01:38 PM
I was born to love you
I was born to lick your face
I was born to rub you
but you were born to rub me first
What do you say we take this out on the patio?

Hong Jong Fuey
09-13-2009, 01:39 PM
I christen thee....the flying wasp.

bluespark
09-13-2009, 07:04 PM
sign at the pool: Caddy Day from 1pm to 1:15pm

MMP
09-14-2009, 06:51 AM
"never ask a navy man if he'll have another drink, it's nobody's god damned business how many he's had already"

Hong Jong Fuey
09-14-2009, 09:29 AM
"When you die, on your death bed, you will receive total consciousness. So I got that goin' for me, which is nice."

Meadow Skipper
09-14-2009, 09:57 AM
Gunga galunga. Gunga, gunga lagunga.

VTsession
09-14-2009, 07:25 PM
"You'll have nothing and like it!"

Hong Jong Fuey
09-14-2009, 08:29 PM
"How about teams then, for twenty thousand? You can have Dr. Frankenputz and I'll take Ty."

hrstrat57
09-15-2009, 05:24 PM
Let's go while we're young

GagePLoungin
09-16-2009, 01:16 AM
Now I see why tigers eat their young.

DukeBest
11-19-2009, 08:11 AM
Check out this tshirt that is a picture of a caddyshack quote:

http://jestshirts.com/images/products/detail/SteponDuckSolidSky.jpg

Hilarious!

My Pet Powder Goat
11-19-2009, 08:45 AM
Judge: Spaulding, your golfing today with Dr. beeper and myself.

spaulding: no i'm not granpa, im playing tennis.

judge: your playing golf, and liking it!

Spaulding: but what about my ashma?!?

Judge I'LL GIvE YOU ASHMA!

bambooslippers
11-20-2009, 12:07 PM
Check out this tshirt that is a picture of a caddyshack quote:

http://jestshirts.com/images/products/detail/SteponDuckSolidSky.jpg

Hilarious!

Sorry to interrupt the qoutes... but that is awesome! where did you find that?!

ok, here is a quote:

"How would you like to mow my lawn?"