Jer's contributions to the community, an anthology

[gonehuckin]

1.
2.
3.


I'm not sure anyone has done less with so much time in this community. That's quite the accomplishment around here. I mean even blurred has made shit ski videos.

Even more then that, I'm not sure anyone around here would even have a beer with the guy.

[Jer(k)]

YOU MAY NOT LIKE US, LIBRODOUCHE BUT WE'RE THE ONLY FUNNY [I MEAN FUNNEH] GOING ON AROUND HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ASIDE FROM AIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHICH REMAINS HILARIOUS OF COURSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AIDS!

[gonehuckin]

I am Jer(k) in case anyone is wondering

[Rip'nStick]

I am Jer(k) in case anyone is wondering

YOU SUCK THEN> AIDS

seriously whoever is JER(K), try and be a little witty. No more copyanpaste. You have a good opportunity here and yet you DO NOT BRING THE FUNNY



Knew a guy at CalTech that created a program to mimic another early message board poster by breaking down most common statements with grammically correct logic (may have been a collaboration of friends of the poster). This was 1994. I'm sure there is someone on this board that can create a fake Jer. Not that hard.

[Rip'nStick]

f2f? anyone know someone up to the 1hr challenge? Create Jer in 1 hr. or 4?

[Rip'nStick]

Love the latest call 'em out threads. Let's get internet toughguy!

Again, I'll put money on Helldog. Takers?

[gonehuckin]

Dude I'm not really jer(k). I am jer however.

[Rip'nStick]

I totally knew that.... psyops bro.


But I leave it to Jer(k) to do something with it. Or at least stop confusing Jer. We need this guy on point.

[Pow4Brains]

Where is Mime when you need him?

[stalefish3169]

Dude I'm not really jer(k). I am jer however.

Wait, I thought Blurred was Jer. This is getting really confusing. :confused:

Is it winter yet?

[gonehuckin]

Wait, I thought Blurred was Jer. This is getting really confusing. :confused:

Is it winter yet?

Don't worry I'm blurred too......I make shitty ski skinamax core porn

[f2f]

f2f? anyone know someone up to the 1hr challenge? Create Jer in 1 hr. or 4?

i did write similar code long time ago (10 years (http://homepage.usask.ca/~aam396/f4bot.pl), heh), but it was geared towards IRC. it would sit in a channel waiting for a particular potty-mouthed user to start yapping, analyze their speech and then generate similar-sounding replies. forums weren't that popular back then.

i can modify it to become a Jer-generaton (a Jer-nerator!) but I need all his posting history to seed into it and that's just a nuisance to script with vbulletin and 150 search results limit. maybe if Jer ever wrote a book it'd be easier :)

[spook]

Don't worry I'm blurred too......I make shitty ski skinamax core porn

at least you're honest.

[gunit130]

You want Jer, here you go.

Spook - This is how you address someone. First, type their name, space, line, space. Then to really get your point across throw in some italics.


Dude I'm not really jer(k). I am jer however.

Then when you quote someone, you change their name slightly to see if you can get a reaction off that. fucking losers.

[AsheanMT]

I'd have a beer with Jer but he doesn't drink.

I think his contribution is easy to identify. He gets people extremely worked up over themselves. I know that sounds kinda confusing but thats what he does and he is very good at it. Best I've ever seen.

I know what you're thinking..."How is that a contribution?".


I've said it before, Jer is THE UBERTROLL.

and thanks to you folks, he is well fed.

Without an Ubertroll, all the little trolls would run amuck.

[El Chupacabra]

Where is Mime when you need him?

He's busy checking the spare.

[danimal's dead]

I think Jer does actually ski, at what level I don't know and don't care. We have plenty of Mass Liberals and Californicators around here, 1 or 2 right wing instigators isn't gonna kill anyone.
The fact that people get their feelings hurt over this stuff just makes it that much funnier. Jer isn't funny all the time, but anyone that can make me laugh out loud spitting soda on my keyboard is worth keeping around here.

[spook]

e have plenty of Mass Liberals and Californicators around here, 1 or 2 right wing instigators isn't gonna kill anyone.
.

just my opinion, but i think "right wing instigator" is not necessarily very accurate.

and most of the "liberals" i've seen here only confirm that liberal in the u.s. means corporate dominated consumptive nationalism side B.

[AsheanMT]

just my opinion, but i think "right wing instigator" is not necessarily very accurate.

and most of the "liberals" i've seen here only confirm that liberal in the u.s. means corporate dominated consumptive nationalism side B.

Oh, thanks for the clarification.

What would we do without you?

[spook]

Oh, thanks for the clarification.

What would we do without you?

you at least would still be tiresome.

[Rip'nStick]

i did write similar code long time ago (10 years (http://homepage.usask.ca/~aam396/f4bot.pl), heh), but it was geared towards IRC. it would sit in a channel waiting for a particular potty-mouthed user to start yapping, analyze their speech and then generate similar-sounding replies. forums weren't that popular back then.

i can modify it to become a Jer-generaton (a Jer-nerator!) but I need all his posting history to seed into it and that's just a nuisance to script with vbulletin and 150 search results limit. maybe if Jer ever wrote a book it'd be easier :)

Why would you need so many posts? I think this would be easy since all his posts are pretty much the same. I would think your code could pretty easily simulate him with a sample of 50. Come on, give it a try. I am sure we could get a donation going.

[f2f]

Why would you need so many posts? I think this would be easy since all his posts are pretty much the same. I would think your code could pretty easily simulate him with a sample of 50. Come on, give it a try. I am sure we could get a donation going.

the problem is that the fewer samples you have the fewer meaningful relationships between them you can generate. i wrote a very crude version of the above program just now which builds a markov chain out of somebody's blatherings (a markov chain is simply a number of weighted graphs where each edge is the probability that a certain word follows another word). it's not very elaborate, i'm afraid -- feed it a few lines of text and it'll spit out a sentence resembling the original. before trying jer i went for jer(k). here's a sample seeded with 271 lines of text of Jer(k)'s last 50 or so posts (each line is a separate run).


RIDE A DOZEN YEARS FOR OUR GENIUS IDEAS LIKE:

ITS JER ARE THE AIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT WE HAVE IDEAS WE WOULD BE NIGGOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MORANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PRIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT MAYBE YOUR BACKED UP????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!! I JUST DONT THINK WE WAIT FOR IT...............................

PRETTY GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LIBRODOUCHE!!!

SHOWS THAT WE PROMISE, A MINUTE SO DOUCHETASTIC ITS GOING TO DO WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KIND OF THE BET TO DO HERE STILL WEREN'T STARTED BY ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! US!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHATEVER!!

WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KIND OF THE AIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUY IT, BACKED UP????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO, WERE GIVING OUR FULL BLOWN AIDS JOKES????? THEN HE'D BE REALLY FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CASE OF THE BET THIS IS NO ONE ELSE HEARS THOSE PEOPLE WHO SPELLS IT MAKES IT EASIER FOR GABRIEL GENESIS, HATE FOR COLLINS GENESIS. AIDS. HOW WELL ITS WORKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

STUPID LIBRODOUCHES TO SHOW SOME RESPECT FOR US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO CURE FOR IT...............................










anyway. gather a large sample of anyone's -isms and it'll be made to work better. we can even combine jer with jer(k) rather easily.

[El Chupacabra]

That's actually about as coherent as some of Jer(k)'s posts anyway.

[commonlaw]

That's actually about as coherent as some of Jer(k)'s posts anyway.

I was going to say that the generated Jer(k) rambling was funnier than anything he has actually posted.

I also think that the generated Jer(k) may be racist.

[Tye 1on]

nice to see summer's finally arrived...

[Rip'nStick]

That looks about right for Jer(k) and Jer is definitely repetitive so can you throw in 150 posts from Jer?

Markov chains can be used for just about anything can't they? Great application. Brings back memories of two of the hardest classes I have ever taken, Random Processes and Queuing Theory.

BTW thanks for this little thought experiment for our collective entertainment.

[f2f]

pulled off a few longer paragraphs from jer's older (~obama election) threads. need more. contributions welcome.




cool opium pipe, my sex with his threads sure he's just joking around and the tail, the neck-strap from another thread about Obamastalin or undead. The Roolz change and he still acting as many many of wood at least have sex life. If you live in the interest in the righteous STOKE!!! you've gotta have you hang out in the Outdoor Cats. I had to somebody said on yourself. It's time I value my posts?
$ cat jer.txt | ./jerky.py
fan. stuckatbrokebackmtn: Probably the pond chasin' bluegills and adieu, you again.
$ cat jer.txt | ./jerky.py
cancer just say "yes" or the rain stopped. Tried taking some right here on were funny.
$ cat jer.txt | ./jerky.py
goddamn boring without any STOKE!!! posted by Gogo - howsabout Mongolia? I can't seem to chime in the camera. Slept in life is pretty dirty 'cause I'm still waiting on them. See how I didn't even morally questionable, but he seems to clean the big boy. And we could really shining through now. Epic and he's losing he can just reminded me worried. His voice has me worried. His posts lately? How about guitars, later and bring newcomers up a bike ride my haiku (an obvious joke) has me gay?
$ cat jer.txt | ./jerky.py
latte mochachino. STOP BEING GAY YOU GAYS!! You fuckers need a lot less ticks out that I thought that matter. What do 25 push-ups. Tamu chased one whining and adieu to all your company. Didn't you again.
$ cat jer.txt | ./jerky.py
School Glue to shaming you know me. Know how sensative I had an Alta sticker on Tech Talk. Jongalot: His posts just think it cheap, be so I moved my posts just joking around here want to take this - don't give a 2x4 or even better. I clean the tail, the internet, regardless of Spain. For Racists stickers left from another thread or the joke or the interest in a little butt hurt and they're on.
$ cat jer.txt | ./jerky.py
IQ level, thier emotional problems and pissing and tommycods. This was the shit-talking part. Or maybe next year. But you've gotta make sure he's just started shaving, but I'll find any flies. Saw a lot of fun (y'know - like going to sail back to promote his lumps like to stay alive, then when I value my "coreness" went down you for defamation of it. $3750.00. Time to an Alta Is For Racists stickers left from Splat. You've gotta make sure were funny.
$

[Rip'nStick]

Yeah, it does sound like our OBF... makes you wonder if it wasn't a similar agent running on our little side of the universe, with a heavy mix from slide zone.

Thing is f2f whipped this up pretty quick ya know....

[Rip'nStick]

it's not very elaborate, i'm afraid -- feed it a few lines of text and it'll spit out a sentence resembling the original.

anyway. gather a large sample of anyone's -isms and it'll be made to work better. we can even combine jer with jer(k) rather easily.

Cool f2f, thanks fo stepping up.:yourock:

I think the program that this guy at CalTech whipped up also had some algorithm for responding to posts, like it would take the content of the last post as the "initial condition" and had a search for statistically similar posts and perhaps a Markov chain approach to replies. Apparently it was good enough to fool their mutual friends and confuse the hell out of the guy. Not saying you should invest this amount of time. My assessment is that at least 1/4 of the people I met at CalTech one summer seemed certifiably different and the rest were "quirky". But they did like pranks and outdoing each other in the smarts department.

I think it only works well on people that say the same thing over and over though, that is why Jer would be a good application. Now if only we could get around post counts, we could have some fun with this. Of course it could always be a Jer alias.

[Mustonen]

I think Jer's contributed a lot. More than you, gh, imho. The sheer volume of his shit-stirring is a little much, but most of his asshattedness is in polyasshat and the padded room, how can you really bitch about that?

The jer(k) emulator thing is awesome, btw. About a million times funnier than the real jer(k). This is a worthless fucking thread - glad that something cool came out of it.

[f2f]

I think the program that this guy at CalTech whipped up also had some algorithm for responding to posts

the original, and still the best, is MVS (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_V_Shaney).

the algorithms doesn't need anybody to be saying anything in a particular way, it just needs large volumes of data. the relationships are there anyways, the algorithm only marks them, but with more data it's easier for the more important ones to pop-up.

given the full series of the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy this code can come up with a few gems like this one:

He had, knees together, to come if you will employ Dentrassi liked axes. He was clearly the finely calculated product of these days after him, whereupon he howled.


:D

pm me anyone who wants the code (all it needs is python, and a shell; appropriately it's 42 lines long)

[Rip'nStick]

Mark V Shaney... love it.

I am guessing these kids copied something like that. Awesome.

One of the coolest things about CalTech are the steam tunnels that connect almost all of the buildings. Seemed liek half the people at CalTech were lockpicks, so pretty much nothing was safe from pranking.

Any CalTech grads here?

[concretejungle]

Gonehuckin's contributions

1. Scamming mags in gear swap.
2. Deleting threads when they didn't go his way.
3.

[Jer]

Gonehuckin's contributions

1. Scamming mags in gear swap.
2. Deleting threads when they didn't go his way.
3.

3. Exposing the damn dirty Jews for the sneaky bastards they are? Ooops - that's the same as #2.

[Hugh Conway]

Gonehuckin's contributions

1. Scamming mags in gear swap.
2. Deleting threads when they didn't go his way.
3.


3. Exposing the damn dirty Jews for the sneaky bastards they are? Ooops - that's the same as #2.

It's a great big circle jerk of suck.

[Jer(k)]

It's a great big circle jerk of suck.

I HEARD THATS HOW YOU GET AIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AIDS!

I CANT BELIEVE I'M NOT THE BEST CONTRIBUTION TO THE BOARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LIBRODOUCHES CANT DEAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WITH AIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OR ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AIDS!@#$%(*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!