Best Seinfeld episode ever?

[sftc]

I don't watch the old Seinfeld shows much any more, but the one where Jerry gets his car stolen, calls the the guy who stole it, then tries to rent a car, with confusion about the definition of a reservation, while George tries to park cars, and Kramer works on the line "these pretzels are making me thirsty!" while Elaine's boyfriend has a stroke, while they're shooting a Woody Allen movie, and then Jerry gets screwed in the end while Elaine feeds her boyfriend soup from a spoon, is fucking hilarious. Late 20th century comedy at it's best.

[hop]

I'm partial to the "marine biologist" episode, myself.

[Kied]

The episode where George try's to explain "shrinkage" to Elaine.

[Rasputin]

Soup Nazi comes to mind.

[YetiMan]

the one where Kramer has the merv griffin set?

[Rasputin]

Coffee table book?

[sftc]

"The Marine Biologist"

GEORGE: The sea was angry that day my friends, like an old man trying to
return soup at a deli!...
From where I was standing I could see directly into the eye of the great fish!

JERRY: Mammal.

GEORGE: Whatever....

KRAMER: What, is that a Titleist?

And don't forget about "The Contest"

KRAMER: Wait a second, wait a second. Count me in on this.

JERRY: You?

KRAMER: Yeah.

JERRY: You'll be out before we get the check.

ELAINE: I want to be in on this, too.

GEORGE AND JERRY: Ohh, no. No, no, no..

ELAINE: Why?

JERRY: It's apples and oranges..

ELAINE: What? Why? (More 'no, no, no's from Jerry and George. Persistent) Why?

JERRY: Because you're a woman!

ELAINE: So what?

JERRY: It's easier for a woman not to do it than a man.

ELAINE: Oh.

JERRY: We have to do it. It's part of our lifestyle. It's like, uh.. shaving.

ELAINE: Oh, that is such bologna. I shave my legs.

KRAMER: Not everyday.

[BSS]

It's a tie between the Soup Nazi and the JFK golf clubs episode for me.

[warthog]

My favorite is the one where Newman is hired as the "cleaner" for the muffin bottoms. Kramer adopts a section of highway, and makes it "luxury" by making it two wide lanes instead of 4. Of course this creates havoc, and he is forced to remove the black paint covering the lines. Newman is driving home from disposing of the muffin bottoms, and somehow runs over something that fell out of Kramer's trunk previously. He is shooting sparks everywhere, and drives right into the stretch of highway where Kramer is using paint remover. The entire mail truck bursts into flames, and it ends with Newman saying,"What a world, what a world."

It is a classic, but you will almost never see it on tv.

[warthog]

Oh, and the second place one is the one where George's dad has the flashbacks from Korea, when he was a cook. Another classic that is almost never on tv.

[SkiEvil]

The Contest - "Master of my domain"

http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheContest.htm

[Joey Joe Joe Junior Shabadoo]

The episode where Georges starts doing the opposite of what he thinks he should do and gets hired by the Yankees, or the marine biologist. It's really kind of impossible to pick just one.

[PappaG]

The Pilot

JERRY: (to George) Again with the sweat pants?

GEORGE: What? I'm comfortable.

JERRY: You know the message you're sending out to the world with these sweat pants? You're telling the world: "I give up. I can't compete in normal society. I'm miserable, so I might as well be comfortable."

[pechelman]

Art Vandelay! Art Vandelay!

And you wanna be my latex salesman?!

or

the marine biologist one as mentioned
the story at the end is absolute genius when it ends with the titleist

or

[thick pr accent]Who doesnt want to wear the ribbon![/thick pr accent]

or

the "That is one magic lugie" episode with Kieth Hernandez

or

"I choose not to run!"

or

the one warthog mentioned

or

like a ton others
hard to pick just one

[fatback]

The Contest - "Master of my domain"

http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheContest.htm

Definitely the best episode IMO, the marine biologist is a close second.

[VTskibum]

My favorite is the stolen car/rental car agency one. The others mentioned are pretty good, but another one I like was the Kenny Rodgers Rooster episode, where Jerry and Kramer switch appt's and Jerry acts (horrible acting) like Kramer.

[Viva]

the one where Kramer has the merv griffin set?

I like this one, too. Jerry gets some chick drunk so he can play with her vintage toy collection. Meanwhile, Kramer changes from doing a Merv Griffin-like format to a Springer-like one.

Probably my favorite Steinfeld scene is the one at the end of the episiode in which George has a sleeping area constructed under his desk at Yankee Stadium so he can slack off at work. Steinbrenner comes into the office with his grand kids while George is napping. Kids hear an alarm clock ticking, Steinbrenner exclaims that it must be a bomb and has the kids to take cover under the desk.

[pechelman]

ha
love that one too^

also the kung pow chicken episode, the calzone episode, and the "Jimmy" episode

[stapes]

Keith Hernandez. When they re-enact the "spitting" ala the JFK assassination is classic.

"There had to have been a second spitter!":D

[Nathan Explosion]

All of these are gold. While it's not my favorite, I love the eggplant calzone one as well.

[Big Blue]

Even Steven.

Which I think is the next episode after the one where George starts doing the opposite, but might be the same episode. I forget.

[funkendrenchman]

They are all great, but the one where the story runs in reverse is quite clever.

[Cliff Huckable]

Master of the/my/ domain - the masturbation episode.
The one in which George starts talking in third person - me and my bootfitter had a ridiculous laughing fit hashing over that one.
The one in which Kramer loses the job at the company he doesn't work for.
Elaine's double identity at work.
Elaine dancing (SOMEONE POST THE GIF!!!)



Any episode with Jackie Childs/Chiles
Any episode with the library cop (sadly, I think he was on just the once)
Most episodes with Elaine's boyfriend, Puddy.


Kramer and the high-power shower..."can'tstandya"...there are so many

[thefrush]

Agree with SkiEvil, that episode rules.

[Benny Profane]

The Cheever letters.

[Sitzmark]

the one where kramer gets the intern for kramerica industries.
"Hullo...la la la."

[YetiMan]

pimpin'
-_zKCUG20xs

special guy...
CVA3BLEDIio

elaine dance
5xi4O1yi6b0

[basinbum]

JIMMY'S DOWN!

There are so many good ones this is hard. the tops are mostly covered,

soup nazi, kenny rogers, kramerica, KRAMER AND JERRY BLOOD BROTHERS! hilarious

[volklpowdermaniac]

I'm a seinfeld nut. try and watch the three sindicated episodes everyday. Which might say a lot about my life. But yeah, something has to entertain me til ski season....

anyway. I would say there's two categories, the classics, and the underateds.

the classics:

the alternate side
the contest
the junior mint
the bubble boy
the marine biologist
the soup nazi


then i would say you have the underrateds

the chicken roaster, the bizarro jerry, the merv griffin show, the slicer, the shower head, the mom and pop store, the serenity now, the voice

i mean making a list like this is really an excercise in futility, there are so many classic lines and so many great moments in every episode. Its hard to find ones that stink. Even now as I watch the dvds of the first two season they get funnier everytime.


favorite lines:

Whew. You know Darren, if you would have told me twenty-five years ago that some day I’d be standing here about to solve the worlds energy
problems, I would’ve said you’re crazy… Now let’s push this giant ball of oil out the window.

Jerry's speech to Kramer when he walks in from being in the chicken roaster red kramer's room

Kramer's rant about Mickey Mantle, Kramer's rant about Reggie Miller and spike Lee...pretty much any Kramer speech

George, "Do you want to have sex. DO YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX RIGHT NOW!"

Elaine , "And more sympathetic, I could not be"


everything really, im to bored to right more, but yeah....


IM OUTT!!!

[YetiMan]

magic lugee
Gcaq4ElAJrE

bookman
_zePQavforA

fire in the apartment
VCru-0-mIC4

in the pool
1cUNNKzj_Nc

[PappaG]

The reservation episode is a great one indeed.




Jerry: I made a reservation for a mid-size, and she's a small. I'm kidding around, of course.

Agent: Okay, let's see here.

Jerry: Sixty-six years old?

Elaine: Yeah, well, he's in perfect health. He works out, he's vibrant. You'd really like him.

Jerry: Why do people always say that? I hate everyone, why would I like him?

Elaine: What do you think, would you go out with a sixty-six year old woman?

Jerry: Well, I'll tell you, she would have to be really vibrant. So vibrant,
she'd be spinning.

Agent: I'm sorry, we have no mid-size available at the moment.

Jerry: I don't understand, I made a reservation, do you have my reservation?

Agent: Yes, we do, unfortunately we ran out of cars.

Jerry: But the reservation keeps the car here. That's why you have the
reservation.

Agent: I know why we have reservations.

Jerry: I don't think you do. If you did, I'd have a car. See, you know how to take the reservation, you just don't know how to *hold* the reservation and that's really the most important part of the reservation, the holding. Anybody can just take them.

Agent: Let me, uh, speak with my supervisor.

[The agent goes into an office with a window in the door so she can be seen speaking with someone.]

Jerry: Uh, here we go. The supervisor. You know what she's saying over there?

Elaine: What?

Jerry: Hey Marge, you see those two people over there? They think I'm talking to you, so you pretend like you're talking to me, okay now you start talking.

Elaine: Oh, you mean like this? So it looks like I'm saying something but I'm not really saying anything at all?

Jerry: Now you say something else and they won't yell at me 'cause they thought I was checking with you.

Elaine: Okay, that's it. I think that's enough, see you later.

[The agent returns.]

Agent: I'm sorry, my supervisor says there's nothing we can do.

Jerry: Yeah, it looked as if you were in a real conversation over there.

Agent: But we do have a compact if you would like that.

Jerry: Fine.

Agent: Alright. We have a blue Ford Escort for you Mr. Seinfeld. Would you like insurance?

Jerry: Yeah, you better give me the insurance, because I am gonna beat the hell out of this car.

[The AD]

One of my favorite guest spots was when Wilford Brimley plays the Postmaster General. "In addition to being a postmaster, I'm also a general, and it's the job of a general to, by God, get things done!"

I always thought that was absolutely hilarious and my wife hated it. She also hates the one with Bookman, which I think is great.

[stevo]

Definitely the Contest.

[freeheel84]

http://www.angelfire.com/ca3/cosmokramer/images/assman.wav

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_pcQXO1sbk&feature=related

[gg8983]

George Costanza: Do women know about shrinkage?
Elaine: What, you mean like laundry?
Jerry: No. Like when you're in a pool... afterwards...
Elaine: It shrinks?
Jerry: Like a frigthened turtle.
Elaine: Why does it shrink?
George Costanza: It just does.
Elaine: I don't know how you guys walk around with those things.

[funkendrenchman]

The reservation episode is a great one indeed.




Jerry: I made a reservation for a mid-size, and she's a small. I'm kidding around, of course.

Agent: Okay, let's see here.

Jerry: Sixty-six years old?

Elaine: Yeah, well, he's in perfect health. He works out, he's vibrant. You'd really like him.

Jerry: Why do people always say that? I hate everyone, why would I like him?

Elaine: What do you think, would you go out with a sixty-six year old woman?

Jerry: Well, I'll tell you, she would have to be really vibrant. So vibrant,
she'd be spinning.

Agent: I'm sorry, we have no mid-size available at the moment.

Jerry: I don't understand, I made a reservation, do you have my reservation?

Agent: Yes, we do, unfortunately we ran out of cars.

Jerry: But the reservation keeps the car here. That's why you have the
reservation.

Agent: I know why we have reservations.

Jerry: I don't think you do. If you did, I'd have a car. See, you know how to take the reservation, you just don't know how to *hold* the reservation and that's really the most important part of the reservation, the holding. Anybody can just take them.

Agent: Let me, uh, speak with my supervisor.

[The agent goes into an office with a window in the door so she can be seen speaking with someone.]

Jerry: Uh, here we go. The supervisor. You know what she's saying over there?

Elaine: What?

Jerry: Hey Marge, you see those two people over there? They think I'm talking to you, so you pretend like you're talking to me, okay now you start talking.

Elaine: Oh, you mean like this? So it looks like I'm saying something but I'm not really saying anything at all?

Jerry: Now you say something else and they won't yell at me 'cause they thought I was checking with you.

Elaine: Okay, that's it. I think that's enough, see you later.

[The agent returns.]

Agent: I'm sorry, my supervisor says there's nothing we can do.

Jerry: Yeah, it looked as if you were in a real conversation over there.

Agent: But we do have a compact if you would like that.

Jerry: Fine.

Agent: Alright. We have a blue Ford Escort for you Mr. Seinfeld. Would you like insurance?

Jerry: Yeah, you better give me the insurance, because I am gonna beat the hell out of this car.

That actually may be my favorite, since I got to go through that exact dialog at a rental car agency in Seattle. I was gonna throw the rental agent through the window if she didn't find me an SUV for my ski trip.

[powslut]

I love the one where Jerry starts caring about his relationships and becomes emotional.

[pechelman]

watching the one where george gets a massage from raymond
i forgot how incredible it was

"I think it moved"

[lionelhutz]

This thread is making me happy. Like a year ago I noticed I hadn't been watching re-runs for a while so I tuned in. Fuck! I died laughing and kicked myself for skimping on the show. The episode that was on that I'm forever partial to is the one where george proclaims that he was sitting there eating a huge block of cheese and Jerry replies that he finds it strange george equates a giant block of cheese with some bachelor fantasy. That kills me every time.

The nip episode cracks me up
The switch
the pick
The one where kramer goes after Grossbard
FESTIVUS!
The handicapped bathroom
The ocean episode

I could go on. there isn't one episode I don't like.

[booner]

The Pilot

JERRY: (to George) Again with the sweat pants?

GEORGE: What? I'm comfortable.

JERRY: You know the message you're sending out to the world with these sweat pants? You're telling the world: "I give up. I can't compete in normal society. I'm miserable, so I might as well be comfortable."

Dude...I was going to say the same. No BS...If I see sweatpants or just hear the word sweatpants, I say "they've given up"...either out loud or in my head. It's great when Jeremy Pivens gets the part of George and he's wearing f'n sweatpants.
I also love the one where Jerry's broad only looks good in certain lighting, just cause the chick makes herself look so fuckin bad just by making an ugly face...hilarious.
Puddy at the Devils game is classic
My dad still watches Seinfeid every night...that's why I love him

[sparkletarte.]

He took...






...it...






...out.


I better go watch that right now.

[funkendrenchman]

favorite lines:

Whew. You know Darren, if you would have told me twenty-five years ago that some day I’d be standing here about to solve the worlds energy
problems, I would’ve said you’re crazy… Now let’s push this giant ball of oil out the window.

Jerry's speech to Kramer when he walks in from being in the chicken roaster red kramer's room

Kramer's rant about Mickey Mantle, Kramer's rant about Reggie Miller and spike Lee...pretty much any Kramer speech

George, "Do you want to have sex. DO YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX RIGHT NOW!"

Elaine , "And more sympathetic, I could not be"


everything really, im to bored to right more, but yeah....


IM OUTT!!!

Bookman's rant has to be up there. Even Jerry couldn't stop laughing.

BOOKMAN: Well, let me tell you something, funny boy. Y'know that little stamp,

the one that says "New York Public Library"? Well that may not mean

anything to you, but that means a lot to me. One whole hell of a lot.

Sure, go ahead, laugh if you want to. I've seen your type before:

Flashy, making the scene, flaunting convention. Yeah, I know what you're

thinking. What's this guy making such a big stink about old library

books? Well, let me give you a hint, junior. Maybe we can live without

libraries, people like you and me. Maybe. Sure, we're too old to change

the world, but what about that kid, sitting down, opening a book, right

now, in a branch at the local library and finding drawings of pee-pees

and wee-wees on the Cat in the Hat and the Five Chinese Brothers?

Doesn't HE deserve better? Look. If you think this is about overdue

fines and missing books, you'd better think again. This is about that

kid's right to read a book without getting his mind warped! Or: maybe

that turns you on, Seinfeld; maybe that's how y'get your kicks. You and

your good-time buddies. Well I got a flash for ya, joy-boy: Party time

is over. Y'got seven days, Seinfeld. That is one week!

[BeanDip4All]

I like when they are stranded at a really bad party in the Hamptons, and this woman is going on and on to Elaine about her fiance.
Annoying woman: "Has anyone seen my fiance? Why, I've lost my fiance, the poor baby. Where could my fiance be?"
Elaine: "Maybe the dingo ate him?"
Annoying woman: "???"
Elaine: "MAYBE THE DINGO ATE YOUR BABY."

classic elaine.

[lionelhutz]

I just saw bookman's rant the other night. I never noticed that jerry can't keep a straight face before but you're right...he's dying the whole time. I'd love to see the outtakes for that scene.

[peck257]

the one where cramer has the japanese people stay in his dresser draws--thats a good one

[funkendrenchman]

I like when they are stranded at a really bad party in the Hamptons, and this woman is going on and on to Elaine about her fiance.
Annoying woman: "Has anyone seen my fiance? Why, I've lost my fiance, the poor baby. Where could my fiance be?"
Elaine: "Maybe the dingo ate him?"
Annoying woman: "???"
Elaine: "MAYBE THE DINGO ATE YOUR BABY."

classic elaine.

You know that's from some 80's movie called A Cry in the Dark? I bet 90% of viewers had no idea what that was a reference to.

[ChowdahRidah]

Festivus for the rest of us!!!
Kreuger, my son tells me your company sucks!
George's Dad: You couldn't smooth a silk sheet with a hot babe...ahhh I lost my train of thought.

I stop short!

Any episode with Del Boca Vista.

The episode where George is vying for an apartment against an old guy who survived the Neuranberg incident and lists off every single thing that has gone wrong in his life.

Last but not least Hellllllooooooooooooooooo...lalala!

[Nathan Explosion]

Festivus for the rest of us!!!
Kreuger, my son tells me your company sucks!
George's Dad: You couldn't smooth a silk sheet with a hot babe...ahhh I lost my train of thought.

I stop short!

Any episode with Del Boca Vista.

The episode where George is vying for an apartment against an old guy who survived the Neuranberg incident and lists off every single thing that has gone wrong in his life.

Last but not least Hellllllooooooooooooooooo...lalala!

The Andrea Doria...terrible fire...

It was a ship.

Oh.

[Falldise]

George Costanza: Do you realize in the entire history of western civilization no one has successfully accomplished the Roommate Switch? In the Middle Ages you could get locked up for even suggesting it.
Jerry: They didn't have roommates in the Middle Ages.
George Costanza: Well, I'm sure at some point between the years 800 and 1200, somewhere, there were two women living together.

[lionelhutz]

The look on George's face when he sits down to the condo board to explain his life story so that he can get the condo is perfect. It's amazing. One of my favorite single images in the show's history.

By the way- I'm O'Brien and that's Murphy and we're going to the Knicks bulls game.

[sftc]

"The Contest" is on in CA right now.


"I come home and find my son treating his body like an amusement park."

"6:30, time for your sponge bath."

[Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer]

Great thread. My thoughts:

1. Merv Griffin Set - Others above mentioned. Probably my favorite overall as far as the 4 running plots. The set in Kramer's apartment is simply amazing. ("Look Jerry, Merv Griffin's Cigar!"). The plot with Jerry's girlfriend's toys is good. The "Sidler" with Elaine at work is also funny. However, the real sleeper here is George and the squirel. Love after the surgery when he goes into the vet, and the vet says "You have a 1/2 hour." Haha. The look on George's face - priceless.

2. Andrea Doria Apartment - Only mentioned once above. This is one of my favorite episodes - probably b/c George is far and away my favorite character. The montage when George is presenting to the coop board is AMAZING. "She was attracted to me, but she was a Nazi....." Haha.

Also, George's dialogue with the old man is great:

George: "Ahoy, Mr. Eldridge. I understand you were on the Andrea Doria."
Old Man: "Yes, it was a terrifying ordeal."
George: "I tell ya, I hear people really stuff themselves on those cruise ships. The buffet, that's the real ordeal, huh, Clarence?"
Old Man: "We had to abandon ship."
George: "Well, all vacations have to end eventually."
Old Man: "The boat sank."
George: "According to this, it took ten hours. It eased into the water like an old man into a nice warm bath, no offense."

NOW that ^^^^ is humor! :)

3. Playnow Industries; Kramer's Intern - BUT, when sitting here thinking very hard, I have to say I think the "Best" Seinfeld episodes are actually 2 episodes that were run back to back. When George gets hired at Playnow industries and they think he is handicapped. He continues to fake it because of the handicap bathroom he has for himself. Then they find out in the next episode, but can't fire him. So they resort to tactics such as boarding the door to the bathroom shut. George climbs through the airconditioning vent, calls his boss from the bathroom and leaves a message that he is "IN MY BATHROOM."

Not to mention that these are also the episodes where Kramer has the intern, Darren. Kramerica, Industries. Amazing.

IMHO, this montage is the best scene in Seinfeld ever. I am sure there are others and many will disagree, but everytime *I* watch this *I* start dying laughing:

ml3akwg0_M4

[Steven S. Dallas]

"The Merv Griffin Show" is my favorite, narrowly beating out "The Voice" (one of the PlayNow episodes). It's really close, though. For the total genius of Merv Griffin, there's a lot to love about The Voice- a whole lot of Puddy, who is my favorite ancillary character, and I've been saying "Hell-lo! Ho ho ho!" ever since I saw it. But it also has my favorite Seinfeld line of all time:

"You know, Darren, if you would have told me twenty-five years ago that some day I’d be standing here about to solve the worlds energy problems, I would’ve said you’re crazy. Now let’s push this giant ball of oil out the window."
The line about the apartment possibly containing a chicken is pretty good, too. Jerry choosing the joke over the (really hot) girlfriend, Elaine repeatedly showing up to Jerry's apartment to pay him every time she and Puddy have sex... Yeah. Fucking great.

All in all, the final two seasons are my favorites. The show was at a point where 1. they were running a little dry, creatively, but 2. were so successful that they would just do whatever the fuck they wanted. The result is a low batting average but great slugging numbers; not every episode was a hit but the ones that are good are out of the ballpark.

[Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer]

Well, SSD, volume is terrible on this, but for your enjoyment:

GguJDlEu5RY

[BOOGIECHILLIN]

The parking deck. "JEEEEERRRRRRRYYYYYY!!!!" "KRRRRRAAAAAAAMMMMMMMEEEEEEEERRRRRRR!!!!"
"But what about the FISH?!?!"
"Because I have uromycitisis thats why"
"What I didnt tell you is that my father has been in a Red Chinese prison for the last 40? years"
Purple 23
When Kramer slams that air conditioner into the trunk it looks like it hits him in the face so hard and then watching his head bob as he pumps the gas when the car doesnt crank.
CLASSIC.

[jazzlovr1990]

anything with the soup nazi. hahaha.

[i'm_the_dude]

master of my domain is up there for me. kramerica enterprises is also a good one as are the soup nazi, shrinkage, marine biologist, bizarro jerry, the pop bottle exchange scheme, and a lot of others. really hard to pick just one.

[johngenx]

I always liked "The Pony." Elaine is at the little table and Jerry has a little monologue about little girls that owned ponies...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0RDLqb3umsw

Larry David on the scene...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4QTNuL-jzM&feature=related

[i'm_the_dude]

I always liked "The Pony." Elaine is at the little table and Jerry has a little monologue about little girls that owned ponies...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0RDLqb3umsw

Larry David on the scene...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4QTNuL-jzM&feature=related

my wife has a cousin named tony, and his mother (also my wife's aunt) says "tony" just like the little lady in that episode says "pony." it's a running joke between us.

[VTsession]

Kenny Rogers Roasters

"So, how's life on the red planet?"